the Idol of accomplishment
Repenting of my pride in work is tough. I love productivity. Many days I feel more confident and satisfied if at the end of the day I have much to show for it. I enjoy the results. I am the girl that loves the house make-over shows. I love to work hard on a project or my everyday tasks and take a good look at the “after.”
Making lists isn’t all bad. But, what is my heart about when I make them and finish the tasks? I generally feel proud of myself when I can check many things off my task list. In-fact, I have joked before that if I do additional tasks, I will add them just to have more checked off. Making a list organizes me but it also gives me a vision for the day. This is negative if my vision for the day shrinks to the daily tasks. Is share the gospel on the fly with a stranger at the park, encourage my husband spontaneously with sex, think and learn about my world and how it is hurting, on my list? Things that aren’t in my life starring at me, usually aren’t on my list. Which, reinforces the idea that lists shrink my life and don’t encourage me to think of God’s supreme transcendence.
So, the real question is: What does God want to accomplish through me today? Not, what tasks that are in my shrunk little kingdom of Wilkerson are to be accomplished today? Not, what things am I most excited to do today? Not, what items are pressuring me to anxiety?
It is idolatry for me, if I clench my fist around accomplishments or if I look for meaning from accomplishments. I worship the idol of accomplishment, when I stroke it with a prideful satisfaction when I work hard to do my life.
Worship through work is the repentance God is after in me and the reason for this blog- to process my journey to worship, to encourage others to see Jesus Christ in their work, to see His hand and give Him glory, not self.
I confess my sin of this idolatry, replacing the pride of accomplishment, with the hope for humility and dependence on Christ in my work. Repentance for me is to ask the Lord each day what my tasks should be, and as He enables me to accomplish my satisfaction in it would not be absorbed by me, but pass on to Him. Making Jesus look good, not me.
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This is convicting. Thanks!
> Repenting of my pride in work is tough
I don’t understand why you’d want to do this. Maybe it’s the word, but presumably you’re doing your work for a reason, one that (hopefully) reflects your ideals and values. So I’d imagine making progress in your work would be highly satisfying.
> …my heart about when I make them and finish the tasks…This is negative if my vision for the day shrinks to the daily tasks.
Really interesting point, Trisha. How would you view being in the flow - being so swept away by your work that you forget yourself. Many feel this is a very good state for doing what you care about.
> Is share the gospel on the fly with a stranger at the park…on my list?
For me having captured everything I want to do into a solid system lets me be far more open to noticing these moments to be spontaneous. It also lets me be as present as possible during those interactions…
> lists shrink my life and don’t encourage me to think of God’s supreme transcendence
Well, there’s sitting on a rock basking in …, and there’s hitting the streets and *doing* the work. ?
> What does God want to accomplish through me today? Not, what tasks…
I look at tasks as a means to an end. If you’ve decided to do something, do it *well* - with gusto, with love, and (yes!) with satisfaction. I’m not saying use your accomplishments to feed your ego, but let’s not strip out the joy of making a contribution.
Is there a role for being a little more lighthearted here, Trisha?
Thanks for the provocative post!
matthew, thank you for your thoughts. I appreciate your engagement. yes, lighthearted! I love work, sometimes too much, is all I am trying to say. I do feel much satisfaction. As I grow in this area, I am realizing more that God in His beautiful creation made me an organized and competent person, and that He gets the credit, along the way thru life and many tasks I am learning what it truly looks like to not absorb glory for a great job done, but to give it back to God. And HE wants me to feel good about it too, not just give him credit and feel numb to satisfaction. Pleasure is good. Desire is awesome and all from him. So, this post is the side of accomplishment that tries to absorb glory and seek the satisfaction selfishly, I think… still processing too, though…
I checked out your website, very cool. you and my hubby would get along great! thanks again. :-)- Trisha