02.16.10
Stewardship: The Controller
We looked at the Sloth in a previous post. The sloth, a consistent couch potato and friend with apathy. Always looking for a way out of hard work, the sloth doesn’t feel deeply or live life under discipline or passion. The Sloth is content with life as it comes, whatever…
In extreme contrast, the Controller is obsessive, busy, and demonstrates a rigid lack of flexibility. Controllers can appear to be disciplined, productive, and virtuous. Often leaders, their lives are characterized by multitasking, vision, lists, and accomplishment. They see life as orderly chaos and their job is to orchestrate the order.
Well, you guessed it. If you know me personally or through this blog– you’ve guessed which extreme I am the closest to. Yep– the Controller. My sin with control is mostly subtle but occasionally the desire to control my environment leaks anger and anxiety like a deadly poison– affecting my family, friends, and anyone who is the obstacle to my completed task. Control hardens my heart to hear the guidance of the Holy Spirit in my day.
Ellen Vaughn, in the book, Time Peace has covered this in greater detail and has confronted me Biblically. With her prodding, I am face to face with my sin of controlling. Don’t get me wrong, a competent and organized life lived in humility is a precious opportunity to reflect Jesus. However, the more I am redeemed by the blood of Jesus, I am realizing my deep need for sanctification in even the best areas of my life. The Controller sin, in my heart is forgiveable, thankfully.
Our dear sister, Martha in Luke, chapter 10, was a controller. She lost sight of her aim to worship Jesus, and instead her goal became the task, her work, the preparation of the meal. Jesus loved her and spoke truth to her that I can only imagine humbled her competence (her ability to accomplish much) until she died. I wish that I could spend the day with Martha and ask her questions about her heart that day. I am grieved that I can relate so so much, to the distraction of being more concerned with tasks than worship so often. I can relate to the tattle telling heart that resents when others experience a freedom to engage and flex on tasks.
The Controller can eventually relax. Only by submission (yes, submission) to Christ. He can redeem to ambitious heart that seeks to get things done. As this heart transaction happens (almost daily) for me, I see how precious grace actually is and how near my Heavenly Father is to me. I can calm down, enjoy the freedom to be flexible, and worship Jesus in and through my work more quickly.
I can trust Jesus to Lord over my life, arrange it all. He has it all under control. Martha had God in the flesh pointing out her sin of controlling and her misplaced worship. Jesus was gracious to her and is the same Lord being gracious to me. In his grace, I find my hope that he can change my heart. I stand in joy and belief that as my heart is broken over sin, Jesus’ death and resurrection– I can trust Jesus to sanctify me.
I probably will always (given my personality) tend towards selfish ambition and the desire to control my environment. Jesus is changing me. And no, the opposite of who I am isn’t repentance, necessarily. I can be controlled by the Love of Jesus, rather than Me being the controller.
For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).
For more on Martha and Mary, see more of my articles here. Just search “Martha” in the search box, if this link doesn’t work for you.
Kim said,
February 17, 2010 at 2:32 pm
I can so relate. In fact, before reading your blog today I was going through some of the redemption material and God brought to light some of the same issues in my life. Thanks for your honesty in sharing — this post gave me more for me to chew on.