“play with kids” is on my list

My sin of giving my attention to tasks more than giving my attention to the eyes and hearts of those in my home hangs out in my heart daily.

God is at work. This is one reason why I am blogging this topic to show the journey of my repentance, to process, to practice writing more, to share with strangers, to not be motivated for feedback, to ultimately give God the glory for any of my heart change.

I am a list maker. My outlook calendar usually just has appointments/meetings/outings on it. My daily list has a schedule for the day. Starting at 6 am and ending at 10- on my list are all the things I want to accomplish. The first things I usually put down are the house chores. Second, my exercise and reading goals for the day. Thirdly, I glance at the schedule and see if there is room for leisure, like a nap, or more reading…

ON SOME DAYS, I remember to put down on the list things like: play little people 30 minutes, shoot hoops with Henry, set up fort downstairs for boys, etc. I have been so busy in the last few weeks, I have neglected playing with my children. I can so easily go into caretaker mommie, that I only take care of them and don’t also enjoy them, thru play, and relationship. This is HUGE for me.

Remember, Martha’s sin, my sin? My default tendencies are just like Martha’s in Luke 10, to be distracted with much, busy, yet not choosing the “good portion” at the right time. I have countless opportunities throughout my day, to stop and choose the hearts of my kids. I don’t want to just “manage” my children and house. These moments when we giggle together, play a board game together, when I play dolls with my daughter and use pretend voices, run races in the yard together, have impromptu puppet shows, those are the moments that the kids treasure, and yet those are not my first desires. Surviving the day, as I have blogged is maintaining work so constantly so to not accrue house debt.

Honestly, God has to be yelling at me to sometimes HEAR HIS VOICE to stop working and play. So, tomorrow- on my daily list will be play with each child their choice of toy/game. I don’t believe that God wants me to legalistically place play on my list each day, yet the sin I am convicted of right now suggests that am aware of God’s grace to give me the gift of time with my children. God is renewing my desire and my satisfaction in worshipping Jesus in work and THIS is YET ANOTHER act of seeing God.

thank you, Jesus! 

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