We are desperate for change.
Broken people–which is all of us–want change. Devastated by sin done against us and despairing in sinful responses; we desire to be redeemed from it all. We want free from pain, suffering, and condemnation. For Christians, change is linked to repentance. Our brokenness translates in to godly sorrow, which brings heart change. We desire to be different. We want to be like Jesus. We don’t want to sin. In most cases, change happens slowly.  Slowly, our thoughts, motives, desires, and behaviors are altered by the Holy Spirit, as we trust God to change us.

When a believer is stuck in a rut, there is a frustration with self. We take a look at ourselves and fixate on the problem. A solution is in order.  Anxiously, we survey the “self help” options like an overweight person peruses the diet ads. Motivated by wanting a fix for our broken self, we shop around. Redemption, then, becomes a desirable product to be purchased. Like an infomercial, we are inspired by the before and afters, hoping and coveting results. Except, it isn’t weight loss that we are after, it is our hearts that need changed.

You can’t buy redemption.
Redemption is about the Redeemer, but so easily we make it about the result of being loved by the Redeemer, which results in redemption. We want his gifts often more than Jesus, himself. Redemption isn’t a commodity; it is an experience of the transforming power of the gospel. One can want redemption, but it begins and ends with wanting Jesus. It is a subtle yet significant difference too see people thirsty for redemption more than craving the redeemer for lasting satisfaction. There is a complex temptation to focus on being changed rather than fixing our heart’s gaze on Christ.

The self-aware man that finds himself frustrated and in a perplexing cycle of condemnation and temptation wants out. He wants change. He might be tempted to be more curious about analysis than repentance and relationship with Christ. The people-pleaser gal that finds herself never measuring up to the expectations of everyone in her life, might be tempted to dutifully work out her change process instead of focusing on Jesus who is already pleased. The lonely abused man wants healed, yet the only lasting satisfaction is being known by God. Wanting redemption more than wanting God is a common and often overlooked delusion.  Because God loves us beyond our comprehension, we can’t fathom the scope of redemption that is available, in Christ. Like, missing the tree in the forest, our vision is blurred when we miss Christ amidst the redemption. We can’t bring redemption to ourselves or muster up change. We need a miracle.

Jesus bought miraculous redemption.
You are already loved. Redemption is as certain as Christ’s resurrection. As heart change happens, so can our realization of the miracle that occurs. Jesus died in our place, for our redemption. His blood was shed so that ours wouldn’t have to be. He endured the cross so that we wouldn’t have to pay the penalty for sin. Often, we stumble through life ignoring this miracle of redemption. Instead, we work for our own redemption. Before we know it, we’ve put God on the sidelines in the game we play of  becoming a “better person.” Change is inevitable, as the Holy Spirit is given room to transform us. Repenting to Jesus ignites the grace that God freely gives us. Our hearts are changed because God intends for us to become more like Jesus.  Jesus is our redemption.

It is ALL grace.
Tempted to “fix ourselves,”(which is impossible) we focus on the “change process,” instead of the “changer” himself. His grace makes redemption possible.

Ephesians 1:7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace 8 that he lavished on us.

We can’t muster up the courage to change ourselves. We need a miracle. God has promised us that he is faithful to redeem us because he lavishes grace upon us. Through the blood of Jesus, we are changed, we are loved.

Believing that God’s grace is abounding; we need—we have to believe— and remind others to not be dazzled by the change process, but to fix our eyes on Jesus wholeheartedly. Jesus already bought redemption for us, and we can stand in confidence. He has lavished his love upon us. We can gaze at his face, changed by his grace and believe that he will (eventually) change us into his image.

How do any of us survive the threats of life and believe that we are safe? I needed a shelter from the storm. I longed for help. My rescuer was near.

Psalm 46:1. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help is trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea...

Exhausted and weak, something shifted in my heart. As unsurmountable trouble in my home attempted to steal my hope in God, it felt as if the earth was giving way. God was inviting me to find safety in his arms. Scared and tenderly calling out for help…

I had to fight fear with fear of the Lord.

God ignited a fight in my heart to not give in to fear, but to trust his love to protect me. Beautifully, God showed me that He is all that I have. All other potential saviors were stripped away. False hopes, security, love, comfort– all absent. I realized that it was just me and Jesus. Suddenly, my heart filled with hope. If all I had was Jesus, I had everything. Jesus is God and he loves me. He is my rescuer, redeemer, and very present help in trouble.

Twenty years ago now, though I remember it like it was yesterday. Joy replaced the darkness in my heart. I ran to my refuge. I still struggle with fear. But, with God himself as my shield my battle is always won. Fear of the Lord is a beautiful and brutal battle of the heart. As long as I live, fears of this life will try to threaten my safe place of trusting God. Fighting is believing that Christ has already won the battle and I believe Jesus will continue to redeem my heart in the midst of it.

Are you fighting fear with fear in the Lord? He is your refuge and very present help in trouble!

When are you speechless, in awe of God? Are you ever so overwhelmed with him that your only response is to tremble? His holiness, his story, and the sheer knowledge of the one true God is so magnificent that to be aware of him is to fear him. God’s power is far beyond our comprehension and yet so intimate and precious that we get to experience his grace daily–our hearts and minds can barely fathom it. This awe-filled fear in the presence of God is a form of worship. Ed Welch calls it worship-fear.

“Fear of the Lord means reverent submission that leads to obedience, and it is interchangeable with ‘worship’, ‘rely on’, ‘trust’ and ‘hope in.’ Like terror, it includes a knowledge of our sinfulness and God’s moral purity, and it includes a clear-eyed knowledge of God’s justice and anger against sin. But this worship-fear also knows God’s great forgiveness, mercy, and love. It knows that because of God’s eternal plan, Jesus humbled himself by dying on a cross to redeem his enemies from slavery and death. It knows that, in our relationship with God, he always says, ‘I love you’ first. This knowledge draws us closer to God rather than causing us to flee. It causes us to submit gladly to his lordship and delight in obedience. This kind of robust fear is the pinnacle of our response to God.” —Edward Welch, When People Are Big and God is Small

My heart tends to slip into a different kind of fear: forgetful-fear. I forget God is with me and my heart lets go of this precious knowledge to trust God’s goodness and nearness. Like a meter in my heart, my worship-fear decreases when forgetfulness-fear increases.

What do you fear?

I fear wind. Enormous evergreen trees surround our home and a powerful windstorm can start them swaying and dropping branches. Once, one of these towering trees fell across our front yard.

Far from peaceful, the wind gusts stir up fear in my heart. Some winters when windstorms are more frequent, I have allowed the fear of the wind and trees to control my heart, not trusting God to protect me, my family or our home.

Fear can be irrational. Fear takes over my thoughts. Fear can be all-consuming. Often fear turns into prolonged anxiety and worry when not submitted prayerfully to my attentive God in faith.

I know what peace feels like; I feel peaceful on calm days, when the wind isn’t blowing. Worship-fear would mean finding my peace in him—experiencing calm and rest, trusting in his power over the wind and trees—even on a stormy day. Instead, my heart vacillates between forgetful- fear and worship-fear.

The last couple seasons, my fear of the wind has decreased as fear of the Lord has increased! I have bathed in psalms that talk about God being our fortress, refuge, safety, rock and stronghold. As God surrounds me with his fatherly care, concern, lordship, and strength, I am starting to get it.

There is no formula for replacing one fear for the right fear. Yet, in God’s grace, he has calmed my fears as I have placed more trust in God’s power, protection, specific love for me, his kindness, and his mercy. I have to fight for this trust and fear. I have to tune my heart to the music of Psalms like this and believe what they say!

“God is my refuge and strength an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea “ (Psalm 46:1).

Hide from the wind, or hide in God?

When I fix my attention on the wind, forgetful-fear is stirred in my heart, and that makes me want to hide. When I fix my attention on God, worship-fear moves me to hide in him. It is a fight of faith to fix our attention on God when fears assail us (1 Tim. 6:12), a fight to find our rest in him.

Recently, a windstorm hit us. I saw the wind picking up in the early afternoon. There were power outages all around, a giant tree split in half, resting on trees near our vehicles, and wind so loud you could hear the branches splitting with each big gust. Jesus worked on me.

Surprisingly, I felt peace. Instead of embracing anxiety, I went to Psalm 121 and read it out loud to my kids and prayed silently that I would trust God and have peace in my heart. Then, I took a nap.

Now that, my friends, is redemption. That nap was an expression of worship-fear, hiding in God. It snuck up on me as I fixed my attention on him.

Sisters, are you fighting for fear of the Lord? Are you fighting to remember God is who he says he is? Does your fear of _______ push out your fear of him? Ask him to show you how you tend to fill in the blank and how he wants to fill you with his peace instead.

I am going to ask 10 questions for the next several weeks. I would love to hear what your answers are!

Here is the first one!

1. In the Mary and Martha story (Luke 10), Jesus rebukes Martha for being distracted with much serving. Where do you find that you get distracted and your eyes are just on your tasks and your heart becomes disengaged?

Thanks for thinking, praying, and answering!

In Christ,

Trisha

Running

Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of
witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so
closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2
looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy
that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is
seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Life swirls around me and I grab some time to stop and rest. All these schedules, tasks, duties, relationships,  budgets, demands, errands, ministry, friends, birthdays, neighbors, projects- all capture my attention. Chaotic work and memories flash behind me and I strain forward in this race of “getting things done.”

Thus is the race of our Christian faith. Specifically, my roles as wife and mother. What waits for me as my reward and what motivates my heart to work hard? Throughout the day, what drives me? What is my rest and peace? What are my eyes focused on?

Oh so easily, my eyes are fixed on the little rewards of productivity, the before and afters, the praise from those near me to appreciate my work. My fake rewards leave me empty.

God Himself is my true reward.

He is my motivation.

There is an actual finish line and our home in heaven is waiting for us, our inheritance. Bridging the gap of work and my heart is worship. God wants me to run this race of life with endurance. He has set before me this body, this life, this heart to look to Jesus. I run hard for nothing, an endless race, if I am not looking to Jesus. Jesus is the why of my worship, the object, my reward.

Colossians 3: 23-24 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not
for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as
your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

When the peace turns to chaos, fits are thrown, demands on my time are pressuring, and there is no way dinner is getting made, I freeze and am tempted throw my hands in the air and give up.  Overwhelming feelings of my weakness threaten my faith. What keeps me moving forward with endurance? It can only be Jesus that moves me.

I am not alone. I don’t have to be strong.

God is with me now, He is my strength all along, not just at the finish line. He is with me with every move I make, every thought, every tender feeling. He is the promised land, but I am already there! In Christ, I am both running towards Him and with Him.

As I run this intense calling- my worship is increasing. My independence is decreasing. And.. I fall in to God’s precious arms, so that He can carry me the rest of the way.

But at other times, we envy. In scripture, envy is about discontentment and rivalry that breaks down relationships. It starts with comparing what they have and what you lack. Temptation whispers, “Why do they have that?” and the envious heart responds, “Why not me, Lord?”

Envy compares

Sadly, I have heard these confessions from countless women: “Comparisons are really depressing me lately,” or “Why can’t my husband be like hers?” or “I am unhappy because my life doesn’t look like hers.” My own envy has sounded like, “Why can’t my body bounce back like hers?”

“And I saw all achievement and all labor that sprung  from man’s envy of his neighbor” (Ecclesiastes 4:4).

Envy kills

Everyone in our life possesses something we don’t. We often secretly resent their blessings. I have envied friends’ weight loss, vacations, or nearby grandparents. My envy has threatened those relationships. Furthermore, when we stew on what we don’t have, we waste away, for “envy rots the bones” (Prov. 14:30).

Envy is Evil

Envy is selfish, resentful and is often joined by jealousy and coveting. Let’s not just call it comparison. Let’s call it what it is—envy. Like a three headed monster, these sins are demonic. “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice” (James 3:14-16).

So friends, I ask you, who do you envy? Does your heart secretly despise her for what she has? Are you hard-hearted, avoiding close conversation that may disclose your secret envy?

God wants us to be thankful, not to focus on gifts, but the Giver. Jesus is the greatest treasure any of us enjoy. Because of his glorious death and resurrection, we can all be saved from evil envy that robs our hearts of peace.

What is the “Good Portion?”

Often distracted with much serving like Martha, I stop worshiping. I can turn inward and worry or get busy with work when I could be choosing Jesus, the Good Portion. When laser-focused on tasks, my heart loses sight of worship. My body may be active but my heart is disengaged.

So, what is the “good portion?” Many times in scripture, portion is associated with heritage, right, inheritance, or simply a portion of land. Here are some examples:

• “The Lord is my portion; I promise to keep your words” (Psalm 119:57).
• “I cry to you, O LORD; I say, You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living” (Psalm 142:5).

In Luke 10, Mary chose to focus her attention on the good portion–Jesus. Martha, though, had her focus elsewhere. According to John Calvin, “Martha by distracting her attention, and undertaking more labor than was necessary, deprived herself of the advantage of Christ’s visit.”

For the last few years (as a repentant Martha) I have been asking God: What does it look like to choose the good portion in my work? Can my work be worship?

What is more important?

Every day God gifts me opportunities to learn this through motherhood. Distractions, needs and simple demands for my attention from those around me require me to choose what’s most important. I can either push through my agenda, or pray for discernment to see the good portion in each moment and cheerfully pursue it instead

Today, after returning home from an errand, I had one hour to clean up, make lunch, get my older three children to get back to their school work, and put my three-year-old down for a nap by 1:00 when a visitor would arrive. The clock and the list of things to do met me at the door and I set out to achieve my goals for the hour.

Then I saw that one of my sons was visibly distraught from a conflict that he’d had when we were out on errands. My heart sank. “Seriously?” I thought. “Now? No! I have to clean the kitchen and prepare lunch!” I felt frustrated and interrupted. My plan was now competing with my son.

Redemptive thoughts began to fill my mind. Emotional interest and willingness to pursue my son replaced my agenda to accomplish. His little heart is more important than getting my stuff done. We ended up talking for forty-five minutes. As the Holy Spirit gave me direction on what was more important in that moment, my heart was content to focus differently. Choosing the “good portion” of God in that moment was cheerfully submitting to that moment.

My heart is so easily swept away by my agendas, desires and plans. While ambition and hard work can be a strength, it can also be a temptation to prioritize sinfully. If I would have chosen to clean my kitchen, make lunch, and focus my attention on other needs first, like Martha I would’ve missed the pleasure of choosing the “good portion.” Those times reveal my lack of flexibility and stubborn heart.

A moment-by-moment choice

Choosing Jesus is an ongoing, moment-by-moment dependence on the Holy Spirit to give me confidence and clarity on where to focus my heart’s attention. Where do you find that you aren’t flexible and declare your agenda as most important? Who gets “missed” as a result?

Love this video…Especially love how towards the end MENTIONS WORK AS WORSHIP!

Planning is a personal strength of mine, not Prayer.  Often, when overwhelmed by chaos or fear, I am compelled to regain peace through a great plan, not a dependent prayer.

Recently, we began home-schooling our four children. As I researched, I found myself surrounded with unsurmountable mountains of information and methods. Making wise decisions for our family seemed like a impossible destination. I was humbled by my need for clarity and peace. Eventually, I realized that I couldn’t plan my way to peace. I had to pray.

Prayer for me is hit and miss. I love my time with the Lord and enjoy his presence throughout my days, however my ambitious heart seeks to accomplish the day and I often neglect the sweet dependence on the Holy Spirit. As the home-schooling walls started closing in on me, I felt out of control. The urge to plan, schedule, make decisions, became like a force tempting me to find peace- and quick!

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.  Colossians 3:15

I didn’t plan. For months. If you know me, you would be surprised. Not planning (for me), revealed that God was FULLY after my heart. God wanted me to pray and recieve peace from a heart to believe he would guide, provide widsom and calm my anxious heart.  As he calmed me, joy and peace followed. I have begun to experience a deep sense that God is in control and is moving my mind, hands, and my heart to what good he wants for me and my family.  My heart changed as God convicted me of fear and I let go of planning and instead prayed. The plan did come but it came as an after-thought, a new experience for me. I didn’t get peace through my plan, first. Peace with God happened with Prayer not my Plan.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

Prayer isn’t a formula and being a “good planner” isn’t the goal either. Only– in Christ, do I find the peace that sustains me.  Prayer is me saying to God, “YOU know me and I want to know you, walk in YOUR presence, and depend on YOU with every step, especially my plans.”

In this sermon, Pastor Mark teaches about how in Luke chapter 10, Mary and Martha respond differently to Jesus. This story was part of my repentance 4 years ago and has continued to be a foundational in my blog. I am thankful to Pastor Mark for communicating it well!

Perhaps, you practically and mentally live out a rich understanding of calling in thoughtful worship by prioritizing your roles and tasks with humility and repentance…?

Well…Most of us want to live out of a Godly vision for the details of our lives, but we find ourselves off course–straying from that passion and conviction. Our attention swerves off the road and we forget where we were headed. We lose perspective and our attention grows lazy and unintentional.

Does your attention fit with God’s love and plan for you on a daily basis?

Somehow, my attention gets distracted and near-sighted. Like Martha is in  Luke 10, I can lose sight of the big picture and my eyes only see what is right in front of me. Even worse, with whatever is right in front of me, I grumble. My attention is a signal for what I worship, like a flashing warning sign, and my heart’s distraction is blaring.

Recently, my road of repentance has been an increased awareness of a wordly/sinful/idolatrous pre-occupation with my appearance. Which is sinful vanity. Healthy habits such as nutrition, exercise, and beauty have taken up too much space in my thoughts. I’ve given too much attention to these things and sinfully allowed these streams of ideas  and lies into my heart and furthermore worshipped myself in it. Too much attention to these thoughts and actions has become idolatry and worship of myself.

The “loops” in my head reveal what I desire in my heart.

Behind our actions are motivations, thoughts, patterns of behavior that reveal either our rebellion OR redemption in Christ. For me with the vanity issues, I have allowed those lies and my own sin to become such familiar territory that I will willingly dwell on those desires more than gratitude to God for who he is.

Like addiction, attention is a habit of thinking, believing and continues to motivate our actions. Attention is what we are cultivating in our minds. Attention shows us what we value, believe, and fight for.

As the Holy Spirit broke through the noise of my distracted attention, I am beginning to see the idolatry and deeply grieve my sin. I am starting to see traces of redemption in the way that I think about my body and health. I am growing in gratitude and grumbling less. Instead of comparing my body to others, which is envy and covetousness– I am praying that I would be thankful for what God has given me.  As I exercise, I am desiring to worship Jesus by stewarding my body, like I desire to take care of my family.  My attention is being redeemed.

Renewing our minds is something only the Holy Spirit can do. We can cling to that hope and do not lose heart. As God reveals attention to sinful distractions, I can trust Jesus to love me through it. I can repent of my wandering heart and praise God that He is bringing a worshipful response to what Jesus has done for me.

The abyss of knowledge, methods, theories, and resources has been exciting, overwhelming, and humbling.  Early on in the research phase, I felt a gentle tug from the Holy Spirit, warning me to not make “home-schooler” a new identity for myself. THIS IS SO DIFFICULT FOR ME! TO DO ANYTHING WITH PASSION AND PURPOSE and NOT BECOME IT!? It is good to find WHO I AM in Jesus. I don’t stop there. I add to my Gospel Identity and I “BECOME” my roles or tasks. Wife, mom, friend, home-maker, pastor’s wife, whatever. My successes and failures creep into my identity like gnarly weeds.

So, the question I started asking God is. “How, LORD, can I do home-schooling with passion and tenderness, humility and grace and NOT let it define me?” ….waiting on the Lord. I began to feel stripped of something deep. Thus, began a heart change. God revealed my sin. I was unmasked.

The masks I am prone to wear are of colorful and confident successes in many areas. I tend to sprinkle the mask with gospel glitter, so that even if I’m arrogant, somehow God gets a shot at Glory. Let me spell this out for you. When esteemed as a wife, my identity mask shines brightly, finding hope and who I am as a Godly wife. When my house is in order the mask sparkles with praise to me. I’ve found meaning in my roles and jobs for too long. There has been gobs of redemption to worship Jesus in this! Yet, this gigantic undertaking of homeschooling has dug out at a deeper layer of where I find my identity. Even a blessing, like a dream come true can be a place for weed-pulling.

Deep in my heart, my Identity in Christ is secure. Along the way, as a believer, I have neglected strengthening my grip on Gospel Identity and slipped in to becoming whatever I do. What I DO as NOT who I am.

So, to wrap things up– God is pursuing big things for my kids hearts and for mine. He wants me to use my gifts with my children so that they know God. Not so they think I am a great teacher. I am more vulnerable than I have ever been. I asked for help just the other day. Humility and Grace are sinking in. Thankfully, my Jesus is rescuing my Identity!

By the Grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I but the Grace of God with me” – 1 Corinthians 15:10

God’s grace is with us in all we do. He enables me to work not for my own accomplishment, but for HIS own glory.

“He wills and he works for his good pleasure. But believing this does not make Christians passive. It makes them hopeful and energetic and courageous. Each day there is a work to be done in our special ministry. Paul commands us to work at doing it. But he tells us how to do it in the power of future grace: believe the promise that in this day God will be at work in you to will and to work for his good pleasure.” – John Piper, Future Grace

Every good work that I can possibly do is God at work in and thru me. For HIS glory.

2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Whatever work God has called me to, He provides grace to me all that I need to accomplish the ministry for His glory and purpose.

My labor because of who I am:
I am a christian woman. I desire more and more of Jesus, knowing him, worshipping him, and working for him.  I am a wife. I am called to serve, love, respect, grow with, minister with, repent with, my husband. As he loves Jesus and me, I become more radiant like Christ and the church. I am a mother. God has called me to raise four children up in him, serve them, nurture them, laugh and play with them, teach them, and guide them like a shepherd to Jesus, the great shepherd. I am a friend. God’s love happens in these relationships as we sharpen one another, preach the gospel to one another and confess sin to one another.   I am “in Christ.” So, every battle I fight, Jesus fought and won.  In Christ, I have eyes to see needs for others and in Christ, I can be in this world to love others…

In all of these callings- there is labor. Labor for what? For the Gospel. For God’s glory. I keep asking myself this fundamental question, “In my work/labor, am I worshiping JESUS?”

God’s grace is sufficient! Certainly!

Ah ha!

If I am worshiping Christ in my work–the focus is not on me working, the attention, the spotlight, the focus is on GOD being the worker. He is as Piper said, that…

God is the decisive worker.

Philippians 2:12-13 but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

As I am doing my “works, good deeds, labor” God is by the Holy Spirit moving my hands, in my heart showing me his grace.  His glory is revealed in the duties, works, and righteousness because of Jesus. I have this image in my head, of a misty glory rising off of my body because of Jesus and God is at work to receive it. Like a vapor moving out of my body, Christ absorbs it, for His glory! That glory is radiant and it is ALL His.

My work is because God is the most magnificent worker, and He is perfect at it.

The other side of work is REST. Both work and rest are amazing opportunities for worship. God has had me on a journey full of difficult twists and turns- learning how to depend on Him in my work, letting go of agendas, navigating through glory and repentance, and giving my roles to God as worship.

Genesis: 2:2
And on the 7th Day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the 7th day from all his work that he had done.

God rested.
We are finite creatures, unlike our Infinite God. He didn’t “need” rest, yet He rested. A whole day devoted to rest. He wasn’t weak or tired. He didn’t need to rest just to make it through to the next crazy busy week. What if God rested out of pure love for his people- as an example to show us how to  worship Him also by resting?

We are mind, body, heart. Our bodies often rest first, but does our mind and soul?

I don’t rest well. Work is my default and rest is more difficult. I work until I “need” to rest.  Rest is more of a necessity rather than discipline most of the time. Rest feels like pleasure and is far too infrequent. Yet, God calls me to rest – not as an optional survival method.

How many of us when we rest, take the moments to enjoy God? Our busyness is stilled and our soul finds satisfaction in refreshment of God? And when we experience this soul rest, we regret not resting more often? Exactly. That is why God established the Sabbath, to give us weekly opportunity to worship Him, with disciplined rest. Our bodies slow down long enough for our minds to be hearing the Lord, enjoy him, and be renewed.

We can rest, because we can trust God to take care of us.

Psalm 121 3 He will not let your foot slip— 
 he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel –will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day, – nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm— 
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going  both now and forevermore.

The Lord does not sleep, he is constantly aware and watchful. We can rest because our Lord is caring for us. I don’t know about you, but that makes me want to calm down, take deep breaths, feel the warmth of my savior’s protection around me, and rest.
My soul rest is connected to my belief or unbelief. If I am anxious, I am not likely resting. If I am fearful, I am not likely to be calm.

God wants us to rest.

Learning to rest feels like work! This is a new thing for me, but I know God will continue to pursue my heart and I look forward to more restful moments with him. The unsatisfied feeling of rest can change. As God brings conviction and clarity, I am hopeful for continued calm and sweet rest.

Godly Ambition is reverent activism that constantly depends on the Holy Spirit to accomplish what he wants to do through us.

Selfish ambition is striving to accomplish anything for our own end, our own glory. It is a cold and empty lie that cheats us out of worship.

Dave Harvey in his new book, Rescuing Ambition calls ambition– the instinctual motivation to aspire to things, to make something happen, to have an impact, to count for something in life.

I’ve always had ambition, a passionate drive to accomplish as much as I can. Hyperactivity and the love of accomplishment have characterized my days. One could call it work ethic – a God created, directed vision for success that guides my dreams and decisions with passion and humility every day?! However, because of my sinful heart I so often in an effort to “check off the boxes” in my days, along the way, I steal God’s glory and feel pride in my work. As God changes me, ambition is changing, work is becoming more worshipful. I am SLOWLY becoming more dependent on Jesus and am more aware of His hand in even the smallest of tasks.

Pursuing ambition can certainly be self-glorifying.  I don’t want to merely sprinkle bible verses and prayers on my ambitious striving and call it Godly.  Seems to me calling my ideas God’s, is pretty low on the scale of selfish ambition. So how can we, pursue Jesus in life’s ambitions and trust that God will keep us from all evil. (Psalm 121)

1. God created us to be ambitious. (for HIS glory)

2. He wants us to work hard, steward well, and exercise wisdom with dreams, plans, and actions.

3. Ultimately, all that we DO or DREAM is for Jesus to look good, not us.

4. He knows me personally and the Gospel transforms my heart, plans, and dreams every day.

5. The Grace of God is where I get approval, in my justification before God is my peace.

6. Striving towards worship in my actions, prayers, and dependence on Jesus refines my motivations.

Awareness of the temptation to sin with ambition can suffocate a God given desire to act. “True humility doesn’t kill our dreams; it provides a guardrail for them, ensuring that they remain on God’s road and move in the direction of his glory.”

As Christians, we have a deep down appetite for God’s glory. Each of us have different expressions of worshipful response to the awe of God’s glory. When we plan our lives and actions, we must pray for wisdom and ask, “am I worshiping Jesus with this?”

If we love God’s glory, it translates into a lifelong, passionate quest –in other words, godly ambition.

Jesus Christ embodies the glory of God. As we come face to face with the Cross of Jesus, we are compelled in belief and worship. The grace of God wires us for ambition. Ambition that is authored by the in-dwellling Holy Spirit inspires us to “do” for his glory.

The good news with ambition for us, is that we can run with passion to point others to Jesus, by loving Jesus and others through the works he has given us to to.

Ambition can be sinful, but DOES NOT mean we should go apathetic because of our fear of sin. As sure as we are God’s loved kids, he will keep us from evil (Psalm 121) and rescue our hearts. He will create in us passion, conviction, and action to Give HIM Glory.

Are you worshiping Jesus with your ambitions?

We are always suffering in some way and we are always sinning in some way. Our very nature is sinful and our interaction with the world and other sinners brings suffering into our lives, daily. Being a Christian is living with the reality of both sin and suffering and Seeing and Savoring Jesus as our Savior and Redeemer in both. Thankfully, our identity is neither sinner or sufferer. It is in Christ that we find our hope, strength, and identity. Love incarnate comes down to rescue us  in the midst of both sin and suffering.

When I am suffering, I am tempted to grumble. Like the Israelites grumbled at God, displeased with his provision, my discontent heart throws a fit at God. Whether it is being overwhelmed with my schedule and tasks or being heavily burdened down by conflicts and relationship strain; I start to enter the pity party zone and snuggle up to grumbling. Feels like a nag in my heart, robbing peace and joy in Christ. Grumbling is often masked with prayer requests, tears, and sharing for the sake of raw authenticity. We think we are groaning, but we often are grumbling.

So, then– what is a Godly response to suffering?

2 Corinthians 5:2a
For in this tent we groan,longing to put on our heavenly dwelling.

We often are de-sensitized to the drama of suffering. From stories of rape, incest, betrayal, natural disasters, divorce, abuse, whatever it is– we respond with as much love as we know how to give. Each of our stories are marked with suffering. Even now, we can see suffering’s stain on our daily lives. Whether it be sickness or financial strain, how can we reconcile suffering with faith?

I need a savior for my past sin and suffering, my current sin and suffering, and my future sin and suffering.

Groaning is a response to the reality of how broken our world is and how desperate we are for God’s presence and power. We groan when we are in need. We groan when we are calling out for help. Our HOLY and FAITHFUL God hears our cries, our groaning.

Romans 8:22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.

Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

In contrast, grumbling is displeasure, discontentment, and flat out complaining to God. Remember the whining heart of Martha at Jesus, tattle telling on Mary in Luke 10. She asked for help from Jesus, but she did so through grumbling and her mind set on her own agenda.

Grumbling isn’t just putting out negative vibes. It is– when I say in my heart or out loud, God you aren’t good.. A Subtle Unbelief. God is slow to anger with my grumbling just like he was with the Israelites in the wilderness. God who is constantly and miraculously giving mercy is abounding in steadfast love.

We are called to this:

Philippians 2:14-16 Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 16holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.

There is real suffering and pain. We need to humble ourselves and cry out to our savior, asking him to show us how to worship him in our responses to suffering. I stand with assurance that Jesus is my redeemer and I am loved. Responding to suffering– is an opportunity to enjoy Jesus and point to his grace. I can worship Jesus by observing his suffering, his humility, enduring cross. And, in some way by my groaning in suffering I am sharing in his suffering.

Won’t you call out in weakness to God for help, a deep down groan for aid? Will you resist the temptation to throw a fit in your heart either in silence or aloud? Groaning is honest, humble, and a reflection of our belief that God is faithful to walk with us in suffering. Groaning is worshipful, because it magnifies God’s holy character and our need for Him. Our weakness is obvious and our joy is more abundant. Groaning is coming face to face with Christ’s ultimate suffering in our place and the grace he gives us to suffer for His glory.

God is paying attention to me and is working on me.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Growing up without my father, my view of “dad” was full of uncertain and painful experiences with men who pledged short-term love to my mother, my sister and me.  I grew cold to the desire for a dad.  As I grew in Christ, my understanding of God the Father became more distant and theological than tender and personal. The thought that God is a faithful and loving Father seemed unreal. Yet, over time, I have learned to cling to him like a toddler pulling on her daddy’s leg.
When we view God through rotten experiences with our earthly parents, we project sinful characteristics on him—often without realizing it. Instead, we should start with knowing God and interpret life through the knowledge of him. I had it backwards.

He is a faithful Dad and delights in his kids.

Philippians 2:12-14 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now not only as in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

This is amazing!  As I work out my salvation and delight in God I grow in worship. As I work, I am often nearsighted and only see only tasks and duties, yet God shows me that I do not work alone. He is at work—on me!—paying attention to the details of my heart. I can cry, “Abba,” and he hears. He never forsakes my need. He is not distant. He is near and his love is steadfast.

Psalm 147:11 The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.

My heavenly father works on me and is pleased with me because of Jesus. As I repent of independence from him and instead walk in dependence, God softens the hard edges of my heart.  I am his daughter, hoping in his steadfast love.

Just yesterday, I felt proud with all that I got done in the day. Pride sucks out the humility and my arrogance kills worship. Good thing God is patient to redeem my heart in this area!

What about you? Are you competent in your work? At the end of the day, are you pleased with your accomplishments? Does your “plate” seem manageable? Are you satisfied even if you didn’t get your work done? Are you proud if you accomplish or grumble if you don’t?

Arrogance can sneak in with our completed tasks. As the boxes are checked, pride can carry us to the next action item. The ambitious heart seeks the next challenge and self-sufficiency is commonly the energy that drives our achievements. Self-confidence and self-sufficiency is often what motivates, not worship and dependence on God.

2 Corinthians 3:4-5
Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

What does Godly confidence look like, then?

I can stand in confidence in God’s grace that I am a woman that Jesus loves. Jesus gives me all that I need as I depend on Him to complete (or not complete) my work each day. I can worship with confidence and competence, believing that I am not my work. My task list does not define me.

If I believe that the Holy Spirit is what drives me throughout my day, then I can stand confident even when there are incomplete tasks. My competence and confidence are not contingent on my accomplishments. My confidence is in Jesus and the work HE does, not my work. Jesus’ work on the Cross is what identifies me. He has made me competent to be a minister of the Gospel of Grace. Sometimes that means competence in completed tasks, other days competent in incomplete tasks, all the while needing Him to define my days for me.

God defines me, not my work. Grace feels wonderful.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

My heart naturally resists depending on God when I’m weak. The noise in my heart, amplified by tough self-sufficiency, can drown out the Holy Spirit’s reminder: “my power is made perfect in your weakness.”

…yet weakness is a gift.
And then there are the times when his voice breaks through the noise and exposes my heart. It is a struggle to swallow my pride and obey, but it is that turn of repentance—right in the midst of the mess—that I begin to hope again.

The truth is that I am weak every second, not just when I feel overwhelmed. Jesus wants me to see that when I am overwhelmed, he is giving me a gracious gift: seeing more clearly my constant need for him. So rather than denying weakness, I can boast in it because it draws me closer to Jesus in worship.

Like the other day– I was scurrying around the house getting stuff done feeling very behind on my seemingly urgent tasks. Our third child invited me to play dolls. Pause. Graciously say no or accept this opportunity to connect with my daughter? In the moment, my overwhelmed with my work– heart was faint. I thought, “I can’t play right now!” Yet, the Holy Spirit changed my thoughts to dependence and flexibility in my weakness. We had a great time playing. When I went back to work, my heart was more tender than it was previously.

Feeling overwhelmed is a signal to check my heart’s dependence on God. Am I softened to the Holy Spirit? Digging in to depend on God? Do I find my soul’s refreshment in God’s sufficiency? In these times, I’m learning to cling to my savior who accomplished perfect work on the cross and continues to save me from my sin. God meets me at the point of my prideful self-sufficiency and lovingly brings me to my knees in worshipful dependence.

Worship through work is not just working hard for God’s glory; it is also in the attitude of humility, realizing how weak and unable we are. We can all grow in dependence on Christ and boast in our weakness. We must humble ourselves before the face of God and thank him for the gift of weakness.