holistic Worship

Seedling

I had a burst of excitement this morning, one of those moments where many truths hit you in to one momentous jolt of heart! As Mike talks with me about Worship and Change, and reading his latest paper on counseling that confronts religious dualism, I am jumping with joy that I get more of the gospel!

Change happens in some ways layers at a time over time. In our community, there is a lot of teaching and biblical plea to address heart and not just behavior. But, they are connected not separated parts of who we are.

For me to see what I worship- my idols, my straying heart, is to address the spiritual part of who I am. As I repent of sin, acknowledge who I am in Christ, I can rejoice of his grace! Out of that joy of right worship, my heart is shaped, and the other parts may be affected. The heart is connected to the body.

Proverbs 14: 30 A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

The heart is connected to the mind and strength.

Mark 12: 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

To worship Christ, I don’t just worship with my spirit, but as my heart is joined with Christ, through progressive sanctification, my whole self is made holy!

Holistic:(from ὅλοςholos, a Greek word meaning all, entire, total) is the idea that all the properties of a given system (biological, chemical, social, economic, mental, linguistic, etc.) cannot be determined or explained by its component parts alone. Instead, the system as a whole determines in an important way how the parts behave.

My whole self, holistically worships, thru repentance and progressive change.. I am already holy in Christ, free, forgiven, His blood covers every part of my pain and sin. Yet, I still work out my salvation with fear and trembling, not because I am unsure of His grace, but because I know Christ’s grace covers me. I am humbled by the battle over my flesh so that I never take his grace for granted. My wretchedness shows me what to rejoice over. I rejoice in Christ and the grace and love he offers.

“There are other parts to being human. In Eric Johnson’s book, “Foundations for Soul Care”, he proposes four “orders of meaning” They are all interrelated and touch on one another, but they are hierarchically ordered. That means that some of them are more significant than others. His orders of meaning in order of the greatest to least significance: spiritual, ethical, psychosocial, and biological. Just because, these are distinct orders doesn’t mean they are disconnected from each other. For example, if I repent of sin at the spiritual order, that will have cascading changes throughout the lower orders, possibly even to the point of rewiring neural networks in the brain at the biological level. Going the other way, if my brain suffers injury, that would undoubtedly impact the higher orders that are built upon it; I may become more emotionally volatile which becomes a temptation to sin in my anger.” -Mike Wilkerson

Holistic Worship is the seeing myself in Christ, whole and new. Until we are glorified with Christ, we have to contend with our fallen bodies, depraved hearts, and minds affected by sin. In Christ, we have freedom, joy, calling, adoption, and GRACE in the midst of suffering. Jesus Christ took the punishment for our sin and only by grace did he do this!  And I am in awe and fully boast in Christ!

Galations 6:14 May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

Proverbs 31: Part 3: a Strong Woman

Proverbs 31: 17-25 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hand to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She in not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

Godly Strength: In a world that tells me that power, wealth, health, independence, positive self-esteem, and successful goals is strength, the Bible has many different explanations for what strength is. Godly strength is humble dependence on Christ, faithful security on God’s provision, presence, and grace for you. IN the knowledge of God, His holiness produces a freedom to be strong, because He is strong and He is the one in control. Godly strength is surrendering control and trusting His control. When I think about how magnificent God’s glory is and how perfectly detailed his provision and love is for me, I feel loved and strong!

Godly Clothing: She puts on strength and dignity. I don’t recall ever thinking, “What am I wearing today, OH!, I know, strength and dignity!” My story has an deep thread of vanity and my wordly influence body image. I have struggled for years to see beauty the way God sees it. Biblical beauty is not outward.

1 Peter 3: 3-4 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

Beauty that you put on like FEAR OF THE LORD, strength, dignity, gentle and quiet spirit. In God’s sight, that is true beauty. My cravings for outward beauty are diminishing, and being replaced with a worshipful view of beauty. Out of that inward beauty, the heart submitted to Jesus, will radiate far more loveliness than the worldly outward image of beauty. So, I like to think of this section as a reminder of what I wear.

Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

Godly Confidence: Confidence is not self-focused, self-knowledge, or self-confidence. Godly confidence feels like the pressure is off you. You and I are continually receiving the Grace of God and stewarding and loving others around us all the time, not because we know how, have learned, or have the positivity to impart! Godly confidence is an ultimate trust in the sovereignty of Christ. When I feel this kind of confidence, it is a tender hearted trust that I don’t have to bear the ultimate weight. I will do my job, but I trust God to order my life.

Godly Provision and Planning: It is good to plan, prepare, provide. I love to geek out with lists, outlook, and ooh and awe over productivity tools, yet I could accomplish planning and not acknowledge the giver of good gifts, which is idolatry. I have written about this before, where it is easy to get sucked into behavior modification and set yourself up with a bunch of tools and projects for becoming a more efficient worker. Horray for you if that came from a desire to honor and worship Jesus with simple to complex tasks. YET, if your motives are clouded by desires to be planned, routined, or organized as an end, you have missed the point! We have an incredible opportunity to worship God in the planning, projects, and busy work.  A Godly Strong woman plans her life according to God’s plans for her. She sets about her tasks with eager hands, a willing heart, and humble dependence on God to enable productivity in her. She asks for help before, during, and afterwards thanks Him for the perseverance and competence God gave. She provides and organizes to God’s glory.

Godly Service: She reaches out to the needy, to the poor. She seems to be aware of her community and the needs around her. She isn’t focused just on her household. She thinks, plans, and works for her household. And, beyond that she is loving those in her community. Why? She serves because she sees seeing others rightly. Fear of man can motivate me to serve others, to impress them with great food, compassion, or just consistent love. Fear of the Lord motivates me to be prayerful and ready when there is a need. Fear of the Lord keeps me quiet about it. With that as a heart motivator, I wouldn’t tell others if I served a widow in my neighborhood, or if I ran a last minute meal to a sick friend. Because, my aim isn’t for their approval, but it would be a worshipful heart, seeing myself actually serving the Lord Jesus!

Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working of the Lord, not men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

In reading thru, my estimation of some elements of a biblical strong woman, what jumps out at you? What area, are you rebellious with? Do you sense the Holy Spirit conviction and you are covering your ears to him, as I have with beauty for so long? My prayer is 2 Corinthians 12 for myself, a section of scripture that I have tried to ignore for so long. I think this section of God’s word is so powerful to speak to what really strength is. Verses 9-10. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Proverbs 31: Part 1: Consistent Character

This section of scripture is an acrostic poem exalting a noble wife. Each of the 22 verses begins with a consecutive letter of the Hebrew alphabet.  Such a woman is almost a personification of wisdom.

“A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value, She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. ” Proverbs 31:11-12

The first attitude of her heart I see is- consistency. This woman has consistent character. Her heart is consistent, let’s explore that more deeply!

Capable Trustworthy Heart “Noble, Translated Capable. He trusts her. Her careful household management enhances their family’s wealth. This kind of woman is an asset, not a liability, to her husband. Good comes to him that can be directed attributed to her. She supports and encourages him.  And she is faithful in helping him all ….her life..” - The Bible Knowledge Commentary

Consistent Stewarding Heart. Faithful. Her husband doesn’t doubt her delivery of her duties and it comes from a consistent and faithful character. Behind her character is the theme of this section, the fear of the Lord. She fears the Lord which is her motivation for her behaviors. Her diligence comes from fear of God.

Serving Generously Heart. If she is always doing him good, she is generous servant. She anticipates her husband’s needs and meets them, so much so, that he always trusts her. Her love for her husband thinks about him and acts with ways to show him.

Abundantly Fore-bearing Heart. He doesn’t doubt her work or her heart. She is consistent and ready to love, serve, work, and enjoy him. She is a crown, a Godly helpmate to her husband, if he can always trust her. She is thinking of ways to love not ways that she could be loved.

Her work is consistent because her character is. Her fear of God is in place and from that flows fruit of righteousness, capable work, abundant trust from her husband. God loves this woman and she is responding to God’s love by faithfully pouring out love to her family. It isn’t hit and miss, it is consistent, because her relationship with God is consistent.

So, the Holy Spirit prompts me to ask myself, “When am I not doing producing these attributes, God?” And, the LORD reminds me that if my heart is first motivated to love and serve Jesus, the rest will follow. There is no formula for being a productive woman. For the woman who fears God is to be praised. That is what I want to desire more. To fear God is beautiful. Not the perfect body, not the perfect house, family, effective household management, etc, etc. To fear God is it!

Jesus, I pray that I would first fear you and trust you to iron out my weaknesses. I thank you for your grace that you give me daily when I don’t worship through my work. I know that you want my realigned worship, that my heart would seek your face only and out of that by your grace, fruit would follow for your own glory! To your Glory and in your name, amen.

Proverbs 31 working woman

Have you ever wondered what the Proverbs 31 woman was really like? I would love to follow her around and learn from her. Yet, God wants more than my productivity. He wants my worship. Join me in exploring the work of the Proverbs 31 woman and the quest for a heart that worships thru work.

I am going to post a 5 part series on this woman.  My aim is not to set up a perfect ideal of a worshiping woman of God. She isn’t the Goal. Christ is. He knows our hearts and I believe he wants our realigned worship.  My prayer is for myself and for you, to read with an open heart, be watchful of condemnation (the hints of the enemy that you will never measure up) and search your heart for where you are needing to confess sin and ask the Lord to show you how to worship Him.

Being like Christ is our motive for change- not to be a good and productive woman. I am excited about this journey through understanding this working woman and her motives, looking at my motives, and exploring lies we believe, and truth for our meditation.. More exposition to follow:

Proverbs 31 *ESV10[d](P) An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than(Q) jewels.
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13She(R) seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15She(S) rises while it is yet night
and(T) provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17She(U) dresses herself[e] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20She(V) opens her hand to(W) the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in(X) scarlet.[f]
22She makes(Y) bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is(Z) fine linen and(AA) purple.
23Her husband is known in(AB) the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24She makes(AC) linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25(AD) Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29“Many(AE) women have done(AF) excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30(AG) Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

Justin Taylor on Theology of Work

I am enjoying staycation for nearly a month with out of town family. So- here is an article for all to enjoy as I did. Thanks, Justin Taylor!

Working out a Theology of Work
by Justin Taylor

Do you ever feel guilty for going to work when you could be doing ministry instead? If you’re a student, you’re spending hours in the classroom, hours typing papers, hours taking tests. But you could be out evangelizing. If you’re in the workplace, you spend hours in front of your computer, hours in meetings, hours in your little cubicle. But you could be on the mission field leading people to Jesus.

Should you feel guilty? I remember hearing a student leader in college who thought the answer to that question was definitely yes. We were on a retreat, and he was delivering a passionate exhortation. His belief was that God’s default expectation was for all Christians to go into full-time vocation ministry — the exception was the rare person whom God called to be in a “secular job.”

It sounds plausible, doesn’t it? It’s certainly well-intentioned. But I don’t think it’s biblical.

I want to offer some thoughts about what I’ve been learning about the biblical view of calling and vocation, but first we need to understand some biblical basics about the nature of work itself.

Building Blocks for a Theology of Work

1. God works.

The Bible wastes no time in conveying what it thinks about work, for it portrays the very act of creation as the work of God: “And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done” (Gen. 2:2, ESV). And lest we think God is only resting and not now working, Jesus tells us, “My Father is working until now, and I am working” (John 5:17). God is the ultimate workman, which loads the act of work itself with inherent meaning, significance, and dignity.

2. As God’s image-bearers, God calls us to be subduers and rulers.

We were created in the image of God (Gen. 1:26, 27), which means that we relate to him, resemble him, and rule under him. God commands that we “subdue” the earth and “have dominion over” it. It doesn’t say “plunder and pillage,” doing whatever we want with the earth. Rather, as God’s image bearers we are to use our God-given creativity and responsibility to use the earth for godly purposes. For Adam and Eve, part of what this meant was that they were to “work” and “keep” the Garden of Eden (Gen. 2:15).

As a side note: this may sound funny, but it’s actually a serious point that brings correction and conviction into my own heart and mind: Some of us get pretty jazzed about “subduing and ruling” the earth — but how are we doing on subduing the mess in our rooms or our cars? “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much” (Luke 16:10)!

3. The fall frustrated all of our labors.

When Adam and Eve rebelled against God, we did too. Their debt was transferred over to our spiritual checking account. The entire world was also subjected to futility (Rom. 8:20). That means that human work, which used to be enjoyable, was now filled with things like thorns, thistles and sweat (see Gen. 3:17–19). Post-fall work is hard and marked by difficulties. (Murphy’s law — which I frequently experience! — says that whatever can go wrong will go wrong. But Murphy’s law didn’t exist in the Garden of Eden and, praise God, it won’t exist in the new heavens and new earth.)

4. God is transforming us into the image of His Son.

If the story ended with the fall of man, the marring of his image and the frustration of work it would be a tragic tale. But thanks be to God, the story continues. Jesus Christ “is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of [that is, the ruler, the preeminent one over] all creation” (Col. 1:15). We are still in God’s image, but the reflection is damaged by sin. Jesus Christ perfectly reflects and represents His Father.

And the great news is that because of the cross, those who trust in Him become transformed from those who “have born the image of the man of dust [that is, Adam]” into those who will “bear the image of the man of heaven [that is, Jesus]” (1 Cor. 15:49). We are being conformed into the image of the Son (Rom. 8:29), which means that the work we do should reflect that reality.

5. God calls us to our vocations.

As an American, living in a republican democracy, I think I’m particularly tempted to think that everything in my life is ultimately up to me: where I live, whom I marry, where I work, etc. Even though it’s true that I make genuine choices and am truly responsible, it’s also true that God planned each of my days before I was even born (Ps. 139:16).

Your “vocation” is more than just your job, and it’s more than just your preference or choice. Rather, your vocation is what God has called you to do. Vocations change during seasons of your life. There may be a season where your primary vocation is “son” or “daughter.” Then the Lord may add the vocation of being a “brother” or “sister.” In another chapter of life you may take on the additional role of being “father” or “mother.” Someday he may add “grandpa” or “grandma.”

1 Cor. 7:17 is a profoundly important verse for understanding that God determines our various vocations: “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.” Wherever we are called, we are to be faithful.

6. God commands that we work quietly and honestly in order to provide for ourselves and others.

When we think of Scriptural condemnations we tend to think about the big, marquee, red-letter sins:

ADULTERY.
MURDER.
BLASPHEMY.

But tucked into the Pastoral Epistles is a very sober and startling warning against lazy moochers: “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim. 5:8). Lest we think that was maybe a typo, it says that someone who doesn’t work and provide has not only “denied the faith” but is “worse than an unbeliever.” In fact, Paul says elsewhere that if someone is not willing to work, then he shouldn’t be given something to eat (2 Thess. 3:10).

The Bible affirms the goodness and beauty of good, simple, quiet hard work. Paul commends working quietly and earning a living (2 Thess. 3:11). He says that believers should “aspire to live quietly, and to mind [their] own affairs, and to work with [their] hands.” Why? Two reasons: (1) so that they “may walk properly before outsiders” and (2) “be dependent on no one” (1 Thess. 4:11-12; compare Eph. 4:28).

John 3:16 is a great verse — but if you rearrange the numbers in the reference just a bit, you come up with a much lesser known verse: 3 John 1:6. When talking about missionaries, it says, “You will do well to send them on their journey in a manner worthy of God.” The church needs people who will go out and preach the gospel so that every tribe and tongue and nation will heard the glorious good news. But the church also needs senders who stay behind and raise the money and send them out in a God-glorifying way. The kingdom of God has no second-class citizens. We are called to honor God, whether we go and spread, or stay and send.

7. God calls us to work unto His glory.

1 Corinthians 10:31 should fly like a banner over every term paper, over every e-mail, over every break, over every meeting, over every to-do list: “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

At our jobs we obviously want to respect our coworkers and honor and please our boss. But ultimately we are not to be looking over our shoulder but above our heads as we work: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ” (Col. 3:23-24).

As mentioned above, one of the purposes of work is to put food on the table — for us and for our family. But earning that bread should never be our ultimate goal, as Jesus said: “Do not labor for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you.” How should we strive to live as godly, God-glorifying works? Few have summed it up better than John Piper: “the essence of our work as humans must be that it is done in conscious reliance on God’s power, and in conscious quest of God’s pattern of excellence, and in deliberate aim to reflect God’s glory.”

Dad, Dirty Diapers and the Gospel

Whatever your vocation, God calls you to honor Him, to reflect His image, and to labor with all of your might. You may not be in your dream job right now. But the secret is to honor God in the little things and to sanctify the ordinary.

The great Reformer Martin Luther was a brilliant, earthy man who had a way of bringing everything back to the gospel. When he wanted to illustrate the dignity and significance of seeing God in the ordinary events of life, he chose a very interesting example: a father changing diapers. (Just keep in mind that they didn’t have disposable diapers back in the 16th century — it would have been an even messier and smellier affair than it is today.)

He observed that worldly perspective would say something like: “Alas, must I rock the baby, wash its diapers, make its bed, smell its stench, stay up nights with it, take care of it when it cries, heal its rashes and sores … ?” But in the midst of the stench Luther breathes fresh gospel air:

What then does Christian faith say to this? It opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant, distasteful, and despised duties in the Spirit, and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval as with the costliest gold and jewels. It says, O God, because I am certain that you have created me as a man and have from my body begotten this child, I also know for a certainty that it meets with your perfect pleasure. I confess to you that I am not worthy to rock the little babe or wash its diapers, or to be entrusted with the care of the child and its mother. How is it that I, without any merit, have come to this distinction of being certain that I am serving your creature and your most precious will? O how gladly will I do so, though the duties should be even more insignificant and despised. Neither frost nor heat, neither drudgery nor labor, will distress or dissuade me, for I am certain that it is thus pleasing in thy sight…. God, with all his angels and creatures is smiling — not because the father is washing diapers, but because he is doing so in Christian faith.

As we think about our tasks for the week ahead — or about the vocations God has called us to for this season of our lives — some will be great fun, and some will be difficult. But let us encourage each other that God has called us, God knows what He is doing, and we must see and honor God in everything that we do, big or small.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I have some diapers to go change….

Endurance required

woman-running-on-beachRunning for …what?

Life swirls around us and we sometimes muster up the courage to grab some time to stop and rest. Schedules, tasks, duties, relationships, budgets, errands, ministry, friends, birthdays- all capture our attention. Swirling time and memories flash behind us. 

If all of these moments were a race, what is at the end? What are we racing towards or for? There are many piles of work and the piles never go away.

We run faster and harder in this race of days to get through it all, yet what is getting my body in action? The sweat drips down and the busyness increases for what?

What is at the finish line?  What is all this effort really about? Why do we strain to get through it all? No one seems to notice my straining, since everyone else running beside me is dripping with motivated strides. 

Then, I stop and look around to get perspective. I see myself burdened with the a heavy load, perspiring, and about to cry from exhaustion. I see others doing the same. Some are setting down with tears of despair from the increased loads. There are some who are veering off the track to some other destination, a distraction of some sorts. Others, look peaceful as if they were all ready done. Just resting and glad about it. I look ahead and I see no finish line, even though I was promised it was right ahead of where I stopped! A race that never ends? What did I sign up for?

Thus is the race of our Christian faith. Specifically, my roles as wife and mother. What waits for me as my reward? What motivates my heart to work hard? Throughout the day, what drives me? What is my rest and peace? What are my eyes focused on?

Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

God is the reward. He is the motivation. There is a finish line and our home in heaven is waiting for us. Bridging the gap of labor and my heart is worship. My effort is God- the Holy Spirit enabling me to do tasks because He has called me. 

God wants me to run this race of life with endurance. He has set before me this body, this life, this heart to look to Jesus. I run hard for nothing if I am not looking to Jesus. Jesus is the why of my worship, the object, the reward.

Colossians 3: 23-24 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

I work my self up to a pretty great rhythm and my breathing seems right for the pace, then all of the sudden I get anxious at the hills ahead of me. My breathing starts getting more labored and my heart starts to get discouraged. I whisper, “ I can’t go any further.”

So, it is with work. Just as I get my house organized and the laundry caught up, I am staring at overwhelming and steep hills of work ahead of me. What keeps me moving forward growing in endurance? It can only be Jesus that moves me. 

God is with me now, not just at the finish line. He is with me with every move I make, every thought, every tender feeling. He is the promised land, but I am already there. In Christ, I am both running towards Him and with Him.

As I run this laborious calling- my worship is increasing. My independence is decreasing. And.. I fall in to God’s precious arms, so that He can carry me the rest of the way. 

Worship God through your struggle

 

This past Sunday, we studied 1 Peter 4:12-19. Worshipping Jesus is depending on Him in the midst of it, growing in the knowledge of Him, and suffering to ultimately give God glory in our hearts. Jesus Christ is worthy of our worship. In everything. Including suffering. I pray that my heart would yearn as Paul’s did, to struggle well. I want to grow in vulnerability as the GOSPEL gets down deeper in my heart. 

God is faithful to hold us in our struggles. He understands. He came into human history to identify with us and maintained His divinity. He was fully God and humbly lived as a servant and suffered. Jesus endured opposition at the extreme. The Holy Spirit gives me the capacity to believe this and walk thru suffering, comfort, and joy in my struggles. 

I am grateful for a church family that is honest about suffering, repentance of sin, and the joys found in Christ. We can celebrate all that  Jesus has accomplished on the cross- even in the midst of – especially in the midst of our suffering.

Idol Management

Everywhere I turn, I see my desires for things other than Christ. Sometimes, I see those desires are gifts from him and I hold them carefully and losely. Other times, I see those desires turn to idols. Some to mention: desire for affection, attention, purpose, love, and yes even a desire to control, suprised?

God does want me to see my idols and how I have specifically replaced the worship of God to the worship of things, desires, relationships, etc. He wants me to repent and TRULY TURN from those things and see them as gifts and enjoy them as such. God wants me to enjoy HIM and delight in HIS presence.

YET- it is so tempting to get caught up in seeing idols and smashing them. I would never be done, if this is what I set my heart out to do. Digging for idols isn’t worship. It is self-worship, a form of self-atonement. I think that digging for sin is a way of explaining and understanding myself so that I don’t have to ultimately rest in Christ’s provision on the Cross and the rich grace lavished on me. If I am a proficient idol hunter, then I can make myself into an award winning idol smasher?

As I wrestle and repent, the goal in it is not to navel gaze, hunt for idols, despair over depravity. The “end” or the goal of my walk is Christ and worshipping him, to marvel at His goodness.  So, I press on for the upward call in Christ Jesus.

Philipians 3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I recently heard an amazing sermon on the “Passover”. I sat in my seat, stunned and have continued to ponder this amazing truth. In the Exodus story- when the hebrews placed the blood of the lamb on the doorpost, the spirit would pass over the doorways with blood and not take the life of the first born son. Here it is: God did not look in the home and see if there were idols on the table, before His spirit passed over. He saw the blood (that is it) and passed over. Jesus Christ’s blood on the cross was the atonement for my sins. God passes over me, because of Jesus. Oh, how tempting it is for me to busy myself with idol management. I am a woman under the blood of Christ, I am covered. No amount of idol repenting gets me more.  I will continue to work out my salvation with fear and trembling, but the working out part does not get me more of the blood. I am already in Christ. I am already covered with grace. God sees Jesus over me. My father God knows every hair on my head and holds the universe together, I am in awe at his majesty and delight that grace flows freely to me constantly.

David Powlison had a great talk on this (analysing and introspecting) that I listened to last week, perfect timing (God is getting thru to me!) Here is the free download of the teaching:

http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=A2250-03-51

What I have learned this last couple months is to celebrate more. To repent is worshipful, but to not go looking for sin, idols, to not process life and heart to the extent that it is a self-introspective-self-atonement. My heart is softened before God and I am ready to dance more.

Are you stuck in idol management? I would love to hear…

worship as Contentment

Am I a content woman of God? Do I trust God to order my steps, my day, my plan?

God has really convicted me lately of so many idols in my heart. Specifically, I desire too much to know the “plan” for the season, for the day, for the hour… Hence, my difficulty to roll with the flow or my lacking flexibility. Deeper than that, it is discontentment, not trusting God, anxiety, and me trying to control. ugg.. My discontentment is masked very well (not in a sneaky way)by joy. My passion covers up my unmet desires at times.

Philipians 4:11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

My heart as John Calvin once said is an “idol factory” and in the midst of the the gratitude and worship unto Christ is my idolatrous heart. My heart wanders around looking for more. The “more” always serves me, not my family, friends, or my God. The more, is discontentment.

Paul Tripp says it this way: “You see, you and I are worshippers. This is one of the things the separates us from the rest of creation. As worshippers we’re always living for something. Something is always laying claim to the affection and rulership of our hearts. There’s always something that commands our dreams. There’s something that we look to to give us identity, meaning and purpose, and that inner sense of well-being that everyone seeks. Now, Scripture says that there are only two choices (Romans 1:25). You’re living in pursuit of the creation or the Creator. You’re looking for your satisfaction and meaning in the physical created world, or you’re finding it in the Lord.

What this means is that there’s a war of dreams that rages in our hearts, and in the middle of the fog of this war it’s so easy to get it wrong. It’s so easy to think that because I have my theology in the right place, because I am biblically literate, and a functioning member of a good church, that my life is shaped by worship of the Lord. But, that may not be the case at all. On closer inspection, it may actually be the case that underneath all of those things is a life that’s driven by personal success, or material things, or the respect of others, or power and control, etc. I am deeply persuaded that there’s a whole lot of idolatrous Christianity out there. The most dangerous idols of all are those that fit well within the culture of external Christianity.

Am I living in pursuit of God’s glory and do my choices reflect that? As God crushes idols in my heart, I am starting to understand more of the Gospel. My idols have clogged the pipes and crowded my heart. As the war in my heart continues, I am fighting with clearer vision!

Worship is contentment, but I have to fight for it, and reflect and acknowledge in prayer and praise to God for how GOOD He is and how Victorious Christ is! Repentence of discontentment will be more rest, trusting, in the midst of not knowing answers. I will stand in Philippians 4!

Restoring Worship

What is worship? For the last 6 months, I have been sharing my heart regarding my struggle to worship God in and thru my work. Hence the name of this blog. Understanding how to steward God’s gifts and worship Him with my work is my journey.

What are your associations with the word- worship? Do you think (music)? Or all things spiritual? Well, we are all worshippers. Worshippers of Creator or Creation. Do we worship God or the things he made? He is a loving and jealous God who wants me to continue to see my stream of idols that replace him. But, repentance is NOT just seeing idol and throwing it away. God wants me to see it, confess it, worship him instead, then see that thing redeemed. So, the glutton learns how to eat again without sin- but as an act of worship, of freedom. For me, I don’t just confess my independent streak in my heart and despise my competence and strength. Repentance is still being strong and competent but as a dependent on God worshipper.

Worship isn’t just getting rid of idols. It is rightly restoring the created thing in its place. So, that my heart worships God. He alone is to be worshipped.

Pastor Mark preached about worship this past Sunday. As I sat next to my husband for the sermon and singing for the whole service (baby Lydia made it in the nursery the whole time for the first time!), I was so grateful for good biblical insight about worship. Grateful to God for scripture to speak to me. For the Lord to show me how my heart turns so quickly to idols instead of Him in worship.

And it is so worth watching and having a soft heart before the Lord to reveal idols and help you explore what worship is to you. Enjoy!

At the end of the sermon, take special note of the questions that dig at your heart. He asks some great probing questions for seeing your idols.

the Idol of accomplishment

Repenting of my pride in work is tough. I love productivity. Many days I feel more confident and satisfied if at the end of the day I have much to show for it. I enjoy the results. I am the girl that loves the house make-over shows. I love to work hard on a project or my everyday tasks and take a good look at the “after.”

Making lists isn’t all bad. But, what is my heart about when I make them and finish the tasks? I generally feel proud of myself when I can check many things off my task list. In-fact, I have joked before that if I do additional tasks, I will add them just to have more checked off. Making a list organizes me but it also gives me a vision for the day. This is negative if my vision for the day shrinks to the daily tasks. Is share the gospel on the fly with a stranger at the park, encourage my husband spontaneously with sex, think and learn about my world and how it is hurting, on my list? Things that aren’t in my life starring at me, usually aren’t on my list. Which, reinforces the idea that lists shrink my life and don’t encourage me to think of God’s supreme transcendence.

So, the real question is: What does God want to accomplish through me today? Not, what tasks that are in my shrunk little kingdom of Wilkerson are to be accomplished today? Not, what things am I most excited to do today? Not, what items are pressuring me to anxiety?

It is idolatry for me, if I clench my fist around accomplishments or if I look for meaning from accomplishments. I worship the idol of accomplishment, when I stroke it with a prideful satisfaction when I work hard to do my life.

Worship through work is the repentance God is after in me and the reason for this blog- to process my journey to worship, to encourage others to see Jesus Christ in their work, to see His hand and give Him glory, not self.

I confess my sin of this idolatry, replacing the pride of accomplishment, with the hope for humility and dependence on Christ in my work.  Repentance for me is to ask the Lord each day what my tasks should be, and as He enables me to accomplish my satisfaction in it would not be absorbed by me, but pass on to Him. Making Jesus look good, not me.

Passionate Worship

Do I fall at the feet of Jesus in complete adoration? Do I care too much of the opinion of others that I am distracted in my worship? If my God were in my home, would I see Him and know what humble and passionate worship would be? Or would I be my “default self” distracted and proud?

Mary, the sister of Lazarus and Martha: she sat at Jesus Christ’s feet and listened to his teaching. She chose the good portion, which would not be taken away from her. In Luke 10, I have read so many times this story and have taught on Martha- here is a link to the article, I wrote on Martha and her distraction: http://voxpopnetwork.com/reformingthefeminine/2008/02/09/margaret/

So, what did Mary get so right? Jesus said, ” Mary has chosen the good portion and it will not be taken away from her.”

Mary was open and flexible: Martha and Mary lived in the same home in Bethany. Mary and Martha both had to be hard workers to keep their home. They were hospitable and loved Jesus. When, Jesus entered their home, on the spur of the moment, Mary knew in her heart that listening to his teaching and setting at his feet would be the good choice. She was blessed in this act of worship.

Mary responds with passion:In Luke 10, when Jesus was in her home, she quickly responded with attentive ears and a posture of worship, setting at his feet listening to God. And in John 11, Lazarus died. He was the brother of Martha and Mary, and Jesus loved them all. Lazarus had been sick and Jesus knew that he had died, while he was away. Martha went to find Jesus to tell him and he started walking towards Bethany (Jerusalem was just a couple miles away) and she stayed there until Martha came back to tell her that Jesus was asking for her. Mary jumped up and ran out to Jesus, who was in the same spot he was when talking with Martha on the road somewhere between Jerusalem and Bethany. The Jewish crowd that was with Martha and Mary while they were mourning was so moved by Mary’s jumping up to run out to Jesus, that they went too. When they all got to Jesus, Mary fell at Jesus’ feet. Her tears and their tears moved Jesus. And he wept too. How amazing. Her passion, her love, moved JESUS! He knew he would raise Lazarus, he had a plan because he loved them all. Yet, he still wept with them. This is huge for me as I walk with hurting people. Flying a victory banner over some-one’s pain doesn’t communicate love, weeping with them and reminding them of God’s sovereignty is love. Jesus embraced Mary’s mourning by also mourning. wow.

Mary is generous. In John 12, this is where the same Mary anoints Jesus with very expensive perfume. Her devoted sister faithfully serves a meal to Jesus, the back to life Lazarus, Jesus, and the disciples. Mary poured this perfume on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. Jesus’ response to Judas’ push-back on Mary’s actions, once again shows that Mary instead of selling this perfume to give the money to the poor she chose to be worshipful in choosing to anoint her God before his death. Jesus defended her actions in Luke 10 and here, making sure that those who complained about her actions, knew that she was making the good choice. Matthew and Mark say that she poured it on his head and feet. Wiping his feet with her hair was truly an act of worship with humility and devotion. I can’t imagine doing this. I hope that I would have ignored all of those people around and humbly worshiped my God. I am sad to say my struggle is caring too much what those near would think of me. Mary didn’t seem to care. She worshipped Jesus with a passionate decisiveness that I am longing to see lived out in my heart and life!

My world can shrink so easily to the size of my life, my tasks, my own pain. I feel like if I can consistently see the sovereignty of God and walk in the knowledge of God’s transcendent character, my fear of man will fade away and my passionate pursuit of God’s holiness will replace it. As I study Mary, I am encouraged to see a woman who at least a couple times worshiped Jesus with decisive, passionate, and humble responses.

Psalm 25 comes to mind when I pray for a heart to worship with passion and humility.

Psalm 25: 4 Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. 5Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. 6Remember your mercy, O LORD, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. 7Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me,for the sake of your goodness, O LORD! 8 Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in the way.9He leads the humble in what is right,and teaches the humble his way. 10All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness,for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.

For this in a song form: check out: www.marshillchurch.org/audio/Psalm25_Parsons_070610AM11.mp3

He works…for His good pleasure!

God is the Master laborer. I am part of his labor! My heart is full of amazement this week as I meditate on:

Philippians 2:12-14 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now not only as in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Working out our salvation with fear and trembling: this is awe and reverence rather than panic and alarm. My ESV Reformation Study Bible says- the right emotions are stirred by the presence of God. This salvation in the full, redemptive sense with particular stress on the sanctification of the believer. The sanctifying process calls for obedience.

God who works in you:While we are fearing and trembling at God’s presence, God is actively paying attention. He is taking notes on us, thinking, knowing us, arranging things for us, and lovingly guiding the whole universe to work according to his plan for each of us.

CAN YOU BELIEVE- that the same Lord who placed the stars in the sky and imagined and created every living creature, is watching us, loving us, and working things out for us? I am in awe at the hugeness and personal-ness of our God. I love it that God works for his own satisfaction, glory, and pleasure. He is Holy in His pursuit of His own glory.

I explained this to my boys this week that God is thinking about them. I told the boys how I have a journal that I take notes on my kids and how to best shepherd them, what they are going through in their lives, and how to encourage, serve, protect, etc. I am doing a fraction of the detailed work of shepherding the hearts of my kids, compared to the work of God in our hearts. He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and perfect.

For His Good Pleasure: I set here and try to picture God’s pleasure. What does that look like? Is he laughing in delight in heaven? Is his pleasure like sunshine rays coming through clouds? What does it look like for God to will and to work for his good pleasure?

I love that God delights in his work and I am one of his works, that he delights in, knows, loves personally, and works things out for my good, ultimately giving himself glory.

I do not work on my own, it is God willing and working with His magnificent power and attention to details of my heart. As my heart worships God-replacements (idols) less over time, I am at a place where that “fear and trembling” is more frequent and my heart is full of adoration and is completely awestruck!

I (We) are God’s Workmanship

Ephesians 2:10For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

A few posts back, I wrote about God’s grace at work in my work. I have been meditating on that for awhile and the above verse.

I am amazed that as I am stewarding many things and people, God is working on me. He has prepared work for me to do. Every task, every relationship, God has prepared in advance specifically for me to do- unto His glory.

I am God’s workmanship, not just the work that he has for me to do. I am a work for him. Get it? As I grow in Christ, repent, mature, suffer, experience abundant grace in my life, I am a work.

It is interesting, I despise feeling like a “project” and am aware when I have made people “projects” in my life- out of a sinful place of self-righteousness. I don’t want to be anyone’s project! Yet, as a child of the King, I am his project, that is what being made holy is all about.

As I ponder, being God’s workmanship, I am humbled that I am far from being a finished project. God sees me and He sees much sin still.

The awesome news is: that when God sees me He doesn’t see just me, He sees Christ over me. He is my identity and His righteousness is MINE. The pressure is off! GOD doesn’t see just a work in progress- a continual project (me)- God sees Christ a finished work (because of the miraculous work on the cross) for me.

I love that I am a project, now. I pray that as I work on my smaller projects here on earth- I will continue to be humbled by this truth.

Weary with Work

I am exhausted.  Weary. Emotionally. Physically. I am fighting for my time with God and straining to keep my eyes on Him thru meditation, prayer, a soft heart to listen to His voice.

Weariness sets in and the temptation with it is to lose heart.

Hebrews 12: 1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Do I see Jesus thru my weariness? God tells me in this verse to consider Jesus who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that I will not grow weary and lose heart.

If I fix my eyes on Jesus, my heart is able. My heart is able to give, love, focus, and worship.

In my distraction- my heart loses focus. My vision is blurry. Fixing my eyes on Jesus makes me see 20/20. And everything lines up.

Jesus is the only hope for the weary, for my weariness.

Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Embracing Interruptions as Worship

Interruptions are like striking a match to my gas leak of a heart.

In my sin:

  • I am not flexible
  • I don’t answer with a gentle heart
  • I repay evil with evil
  • I don’t bless those who persecute me, even if it is my kids :-)
  • I do resent interruptions
  • I feel angry when I don’t get to do what I am trying to do

If I am working, that is what I want to do. I want to focus wholeheartedly. I can worship more easily, (i think) if I am immersed in whatever it is. My mind can focus, my heart engages, enjoys it, I have fun.

When I am cooking, the last thing I want to do is stop 20 times to put a toy back together, respond to the yell from the bathroom, “ready to be wiped, mom!”, put my daughters hair in a pony tail, spoon feed my baby while she watches me cook, find a star wars character stuck behind the couch, talk with my oldest about selfishness with the claim that “he had it first,” praise my younger son that he is being patient with me while I cook, because he had just been complaining that he would die of a hungry tummy, answer the phone, hold my toddler daughter while I stir, sounds like more than one thing happening, huh? Find me in the kitchen at 5 and if I haven’t prepared dinner during naptime, this is the predicament, I am in. The Match is lit and at any moment my sinful heart could respond.

Walking in a changed heart, a repentant heart looks miraculously different. It is a miracle when any sinner turns from sin.

So, it is a miracle from God a beautiful evidence of God in my heart to remind me to be flexible, joyful, obedient to the whisper of God in those interruptions. To respond peacefully to my children.

My interruptions are blessings not burdens. A true opportunity for my sanctification. Worship? Yes, a heart yielded to Christ in interruptions.

Worship as Prudence

I feel richly blessed to have a husband who is always brewing something in his head. He will disappear into a warp zone in his head and later I find that he has outlined a whole sermon. Yesterday, we had a coffee date and he preached to me, it was very romantic. I love his heart and how God talks to him. He isn’t one to zealously or enthusasically share his thoughts or teach me or others, when uninvited. Yet, if he is invited, prepare yourself for insight that changes you. God has gifted him with knowledge and the ability to communicate it well. He has taught me and inspired me, yet he is a prudent man. He has taught me over the years by his example to be cautious and obedient to Christ as to when and what to share with others. He worships in humility and prudence with his mind.

Proverbs 12: 23 A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly.

This verse cuts at my heart. While, I am a passionate woman, I continue to be prone to speak my mind, heart, knowledge, insight, etc. Even as I blog, it is a matter of prayer. I go thru a process as I study–to desire Christ be glorified and not me, to be prudent with my knowledge and my heart.

Worship is prudence sometimes, because it takes the humility, dependence on Christ, a desire for God’s glory and not self, to RESTRAIN my lips, or in most cases, to RESTRAIN my fingers typing.

Worship is prudence if it brings my mind in submission to Christ and the joy that brings.

Busy at Home

I have been thinking lately about “busy.” What does it really mean?

Titus 2:4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.  (ESV)

titus 2:4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (NIV)

This must be important, since God would speak to it. So, when a woman is at home, what does being Busy at home, mean…

I would venture to say that there are two types of busy at home

1. Frantic busy: last minute shopping for the last minute meal, last minute phone calls, emails, and trip to the store to get diapers or dog food, because your baby is wearing the last diaper you own. This kind of busy is the gal that is out of breath because she is running in circles, like a dog chasing its own tail. This busy gal is not ever getting time to rest or to enjoy those she loves or she does do those things and lets everything else fall apart around her. She isn’t really busy at all, she creates chaos by not managing/stewarding well, then has to urgently respond to the chaos- which can mask as busyness. Does she enjoy her life creating chaos? Maybe, frantic is fun? She is a busy gal, but she doesn’t seem to ever get it all done. She is urgent driven/minded.

2. Smart busy: planner and sabbather. She menu plans and reads to her kids. She makes love to her husband and has time to play a board game with her family. She is super busy, but is working smart and hard, sometimes fast at working, like during naps when kids are not needing her attention. This smart busy gal is ready for the impromptu visit or call. She is busy at home, but in a different way than the frantic busy gal. She may not get everything done, but smart gal seems to be focused not chaotic.

So, when do each of these busy gals read their Bibles? How about exercise? hmm. Those are good tests for me personally when I can tell my heart has veered over to frantic or urgent driven work. God in his grace offers opportunities for me to get back on track with stewardship of time and resources and doing more smart busy work.

Busy at home is not an “of course.” I could work myself in to a sweat and “miss” those moments that God has called me to, like playing with my children, affection, words, tenderness, laughter, all in exchange for a folded load of laundry? No, thank you!

God wants me to fear Him with my busyness, that I would be motivated primarily to work for his view not for others, that he would teach me to be smart in my labor.

Fear of the Risen Lord!

In celebrating Jesus this week, I am in awe specifically of the fear of the Risen Christ. Mary Magdelene and the other Mary were afraid when they saw the tomb empty and still afraid when the angel told them that Jesus was alive. Their fear of God was strong.

Matthew 28:5 The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you. 8So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

“Afraid yet filled with Joy” I can’t imagine how they must have felt as they ran to tell their dear friends that the Lord was alive!

I have been pondering the fear of the Lord versus my fear of man, for awhile now. I am working thru a second time the book by Ed Welch’s book When People Are Big and God is Small. In this book, I have realized how deep my fear of man is and how shallow my fear of the Lord is. As I read this account of the “Marys, ” see them in a different way, somehow. I see them in wonder, awe, fear, curiousity, joy, and somehow I see them trembling with hope.

As I have confessed before and continue to see sin there, God is changing me! He is bringing me to a place of trust and fear. A peaceful anticipation of God’s presence and the riches that await me in my journey with him. As I experience Christ, I find worship in the mundane and unsignificant. I find Jesus giving me more often a trembling fear and joy at the same time, a new and precious experience.