Do you ever think you are groaning but you are actually grumbling? Sometimes, we mistake one for the other.
We are always suffering in some way and we are always sinning in some way. Our very nature is sinful and our interaction with the world and other sinners brings suffering into our lives, daily. Being a Christian is living with the reality of both sin and suffering and Seeing and Savoring Jesus as our Savior and Redeemer in both. Thankfully, our identity is neither sinner or sufferer. It is in Christ that we find our hope, strength, and identity. Love incarnate comes down to rescue us in the midst of both sin and suffering.
When I am suffering, I am tempted to grumble. Like the Israelites grumbled at God, displeased with his provision, my discontent heart throws a fit at God. Whether it is being overwhelmed with my schedule and tasks or being heavily burdened down by conflicts and relationship strain; I start to enter the pity party zone and snuggle up to grumbling. Feels like a nag in my heart, robbing peace and joy in Christ. Grumbling is often masked with prayer requests, tears, and sharing for the sake of raw authenticity. We think we are groaning, but we often are grumbling.
So, then– what is a Godly response to suffering?
2 Corinthians 5:2a
For in this tent we groan,longing to put on our heavenly dwelling.
We often are de-sensitized to the drama of suffering. From stories of rape, incest, betrayal, natural disasters, divorce, abuse, whatever it is– we respond with as much love as we know how to give. Each of our stories are marked with suffering. Even now, we can see suffering’s stain on our daily lives. Whether it be sickness or financial strain, how can we reconcile suffering with faith?
I need a savior for my past sin and suffering, my current sin and suffering, and my future sin and suffering.
Groaning is a response to the reality of how broken our world is and how desperate we are for God’s presence and power. We groan when we are in need. We groan when we are calling out for help. Our HOLY and FAITHFUL God hears our cries, our groaning.
Romans 8:22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.
Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
In contrast, grumbling is displeasure, discontentment, and flat out complaining to God. Remember the whining heart of Martha at Jesus, tattle telling on Mary in Luke 10. She asked for help from Jesus, but she did so through grumbling and her mind set on her own agenda.
Grumbling isn’t just putting out negative vibes. It is– when I say in my heart or out loud, God you aren’t good.. A Subtle Unbelief. God is slow to anger with my grumbling just like he was with the Israelites in the wilderness. God who is constantly and miraculously giving mercy is abounding in steadfast love.
We are called to this:
Philippians 2:14-16 Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 16holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.
There is real suffering and pain. We need to humble ourselves and cry out to our savior, asking him to show us how to worship him in our responses to suffering. I stand with assurance that Jesus is my redeemer and I am loved. Responding to suffering– is an opportunity to enjoy Jesus and point to his grace. I can worship Jesus by observing his suffering, his humility, enduring cross. And, in some way by my groaning in suffering I am sharing in his suffering.
Won’t you call out in weakness to God for help, a deep down groan for aid? Will you resist the temptation to throw a fit in your heart either in silence or aloud? Groaning is honest, humble, and a reflection of our belief that God is faithful to walk with us in suffering. Groaning is worshipful, because it magnifies God’s holy character and our need for Him. Our weakness is obvious and our joy is more abundant. Groaning is coming face to face with Christ’s ultimate suffering in our place and the grace he gives us to suffer for His glory.
Hebrews 6:11 We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. 12 We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.
My two year old daughter has observed, enjoyed, and copied my 4 year old daughter’s every move the last few weeks. Lydia (the 2 year old) has learned the skill of imitation. More than funny, it is a ironic picture of my own imitating heart. She wants to wear Abi’s clothes, say what she says, prays what she prays, and even throw the same fits she throws. As I watch Lydia imitate, I am recognizing where I imitate those around me.
Sinful imitation for me is to think and act the way the world does about material possessions, beauty, relationships and roles. I easily slip into the sinful teen magazine foolish view of beauty and my body. Instead of seeing beauty through biblical lenses, I see it by imitating the false or sinful ideas from the world. Like Lydia, I watch and imitate with my behavior.
3 John 1:11 Beloved, do not imitateevil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God.
Lydia wants to be like Abigail. She admires her, she loves her. Whatever Abi does, in Lydia’s mind– is the best option. Her affection and adoration of Abigail controls her actions. Lydia’s imitation is worship. Over time, little Lydi’s heart will mature, her desires will change and our prayers are that her allegiance will be to God. Abi will continue to be a good example, as Abi’s life points to Jesus.
So I ask you, who do you imitate? As Paul and John in these scriptures (enabled by the Holy Spirit) urge us to- imitate Godly people- for the fruit of their life is worth imitating. They don’t mean imitate like Lydia does. When we merely copy someone, we are making a God out of them, worshipping them. But– if imitating someone is seeing their life lived in humility and worship, we can: learn from, be sharpened by, and enjoy the example that the Godly set By pointing us to Jesus. The purpose of imitating anyone is to draw us closer to Jesus.
Philippians 3:17 Brothers,join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walkaccording to the example you have in us.
My prayer is that the Godly people in my life would continue to be examples that continue to point me to my Jesus. And that I would humble myself to learn from them and be sharpened by them. I can imitate with the confidence that God is at work in my heart and HE is who I worship. I am thankful for the encouragement from God to bless me with people in my life to learn from and grow with.
The footage and photos were taken just a few days after the earthquake as Pastor Mark (Mars Hill Church) and James MacDonald were able to go to help. We have a better idea now as to what is needed. The needs are beyond our comprehension.
Please REPOST this, copy it, play it at your church, etc. Please give generously, as the name of Jesus can be revealed by our love.
Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of
witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so
closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2
looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy
that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is
seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Life swirls around me and I grab some time to stop and rest. All these schedules, tasks, duties, relationships, budgets, demands, errands, ministry, friends, birthdays, neighbors, projects- all capture my attention. Chaotic work and memories flash behindme and I strain forward in this race of “getting things done.”
Thus is the race of our Christian faith. Specifically, my roles as wife and mother. What waits for me as my reward and what motivates my heart to work hard? Throughout the day, what drives me? What is my rest and peace? What are my eyes focused on?
Oh so easily, my eyes are fixed on the little rewards of productivity, the before and afters, the praise from those near me to appreciate my work. My fake rewards leave me empty.
God Himself is my true reward.
He is my motivation.
There is an actual finish line and our home in heaven is waiting for us, our inheritance. Bridging the gap of work and my heart is worship. God wants me to run this race of life with endurance. He has set before me this body, this life, this heart to look to Jesus. I run hard for nothing, an endless race, if I am not looking to Jesus. Jesus is the why of my worship, the object, my reward.
Colossians 3: 23-24 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not
for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as
your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
When the peace turns to chaos, fits are thrown, demands on my time are pressuring, and there is no way dinner is getting made, I freeze and am tempted throw my hands in the air and give up. Overwhelming feelings of my weakness threaten my faith. What keeps me moving forward with endurance? It can only be Jesus that moves me.
I am not alone. I don’t have to be strong.
God is with me now, He is my strength all along, not just at the finish line. He is with me with every move I make, every thought, every tender feeling. He is the promised land, but I am already there! In Christ, I am both running towards Him and with Him.
As I run this intense calling- my worship is increasing. My independence is decreasing. And.. I fall in to God’s precious arms, so that He can carry me the rest of the way.
This month marks TWO YEARS of blogging. What a journey! As God has pursued me to share my repentance and redemption “in the light”, my heart is full of joy as I remember why I started blogging and why I continue.
Why I started: I came to a place in my heart where idolatrous desires were exposed. Confessing my pride and selfish ambition in my work; I began repenting and turning from empty labor to desiring Worshiping Jesus in my work. Work has slowly become more worshipful. My independent nature is slowly being replaced with dependence on my King. Blogging has spotlighted these changes and been about pointing myself and others to Jesus, who is the only savior to replace idols with True Worship. Blogging has been an outlet for me share what God is teaching me about both work and worship. I enjoy writing and want to grow as a writer, so it has been great practice!
Why I keep going: I love learning and teaching. God has humbled me in many “heart” places along the way and I am confident in His future grace to continue in His steadfast love. Jesus has saved me from my sin and is continuing to save me from my sin. His cross is my only hope. I can’t help but share how GREAT Jesus is and how He has changed my heart. I keep writing to sharpen my skill and strengthen content.
What I need from you: Most of the time, I don’t hear from my readers. But, I know that there are many of you! If you read this, could you let me know in email or comments? I am curious who reads, how long you’ve read, and what you have learned. Also, as I move forward on other writing projects, I need women to interview. I need lots of volunteers to fill out surveys and in person interviews. I will be asking lots of questions about work, sin, strengths, weaknesses, worship, maturity, immaturity, etc. I would love to hear what God is teaching you in your current struggle and how Jesus is pursuing your heart.
I am grateful to Jesus for showing me my idols and giving me grace along the way. God has taken me on a journey. Thanks for letting me pause to reflect… now on to more work…
I despise weakness… I get overwhelmed. Relational debt, housework debt and procrastinated project dread sneak up, drain the life out of me, and leave me feeling discouraged and flat out weak. Those overwhelming moments reveal my true weakness. Yet too often, I deny it. Blind with ambition, I reach for my bootstraps, pull myself up, and get back to work.
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
My heart naturally resists depending on God when I’m weak. The noise in my heart, amplified by tough self-sufficiency, can drown out the Holy Spirit’s reminder: “my power is made perfect in your weakness.” …yet weakness is a gift. There are the times when his voice breaks through the noise and exposes my heart. It is a struggle to swallow my pride and obey, but it is in that turn of repentance—right in the midst of the mess—that I begin to hope again. The truth is that I am weak every second, not just when I feel overwhelmed. Jesus wants me to see that when I am overwhelmed, he is giving me a gracious gift: the ability to see more clearly my constant need for him. So rather than denying weakness, I can boast in it because it draws me closer to Jesus in worship. For example, the other day I was scurrying around the house getting stuff done, feeling very behind on my seemingly urgent tasks. Our third child invited me to play dolls. Pause. Graciously say no, or accept this opportunity to connect with my daughter? In the moment, my heart was faint, overwhelmed with my work. I thought, “I can’t play right now!” Yet, the Holy Spirit changed my thoughts to dependence and flexibility in my weakness. We had a great time playing. When I went back to work, my heart was more tender than it had been previously. Feeling overwhelmed is a signal to check my heart’s dependence on God. Am I softened to the Holy Spirit? Digging in to depend on God? Do I find my soul’s refreshment in God’s sufficiency? In these times, I’m learning to cling to my Savior, who accomplished perfect work on the cross and continues to save me from my sin. God meets me at the point of my prideful self-sufficiency and lovingly brings me to my knees in worshipful dependence. Worship through work is not just working hard for God’s glory; it is also in the attitude of humility, realizing how weak and unable we are. We can all grow in dependence on Christ and boast in our weakness. We must humble ourselves before the face of God and thank him for the gift of weakness.
Ever deny your struggle? So that you won’t look bad or feel needy? I have been the religious person and am by God’s grace, have had eyes to see and a heart to repent of this sin. The Sin is Religious Idolatry. Or as David Powlison calls it- Religiosity.
“the driving forces in religion are self-exaltation, love of status, reputation, visibility, pursuing religious behavior for gain, essentially becomes a puppet of self-righteousness. Ultimately using God as a superstition because of fear and control, getting the goodies and avoiding the bad things.” -David Powlison
Trapped by appearances and morality; the religious idolater adds to the Gospel of Christ. Religious people are compelled to do things of God, but may not actually know Jesus. There may be the motions and will that sets up a life to look great; but is disconnected from God in the heart.
Addictive Religiosity is the hardest addiction to break, because it is the hardest one to see:
Seemingly from God
Authority of Scripture
Influencial people
authority of personal experience
As I was growing up in Christ, I was surrounded by Jesus–loving people, but many (not all) who didn’t humble themselves and expose their struggles/sin and their sanctification journey. Part of it was doctrine, but more often it was the church culture that turned off the need for this raw transparency. I learned how to turn off the honesty and replace it with religiosity.
I am not blaming the christian sub-culture. But, what a dis-service to set people up with gospel knowledge/information but not a humble transformation that is seen by others at a heart level? Religious idolatry is all about protecting yourself from being seen for the– truly dependent and sinful person we all are. It is about steeling glory with morality instead of walking in the light with struggles.
Repentance for the Religious Idolater, including myself, doesn’t mean talking about sin all the time and being dark, and swinging to the opposite of the the fake joy spectrum. Repentance for me has been: letting go of my reputation, depending on the Holy Spirit, mourning for my own pain and others, being humbled by suffering, seeing the Gospel of Jesus in the mundane tasks of my life, not giving packaged answers or advice to people, seeing my sin of prideful performance with God, continual repentance, etc. That is just a few of the changes that the Lord has done.
Religious talk was usually about me performing Christianity. As God continues to save me from this, HE is way bigger and I am shrinking. And, the Gospel of Jesus is so beyond my comprehension.
Religious idolatry clings to things of God and not God himself. Blessings are the product, instead of the Gospel. God himself is the prize of my belief in Him. Treasuring Jesus is my only true hope.
I had a burst of excitement this morning, one of those moments where many truths hit you in to one momentous jolt of heart! As Mike talks with me about Worship and Change, and reading his latest paper on counseling that confronts religious dualism, I am jumping with joy that I get more of the gospel!
Change happens in some ways layers at a time over time. In our community, there is a lot of teaching and biblical plea to address heart and not just behavior. But, they are connected not separated parts of who we are.
For me to see what I worship- my idols, my straying heart, is to address the spiritual part of who I am. As I repent of sin, acknowledge who I am in Christ, I can rejoice of his grace! Out of that joy of right worship, my heart is shaped, and the other parts may be affected. The heart is connected to the body.
Proverbs 14: 30 A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
The heart is connected to the mind and strength.
Mark 12: 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.
To worship Christ, I don’t just worship with my spirit, but as my heart is joined with Christ, through progressive sanctification, my whole self is made holy!
Holistic:(from ὅλοςholos, a Greek word meaning all, entire, total) is the idea that all the properties of a given system (biological, chemical, social, economic, mental, linguistic, etc.) cannot be determined or explained by its component parts alone. Instead, the system as a whole determines in an important way how the parts behave.
My whole self, holistically worships, thru repentance and progressive change.. I am already holy in Christ, free, forgiven, His blood covers every part of my pain and sin. Yet, I still work out my salvation with fear and trembling, not because I am unsure of His grace, but because I know Christ’s grace covers me. I am humbled by the battle over my flesh so that I never take his grace for granted. My wretchedness shows me what to rejoice over. I rejoice in Christ and the grace and love he offers.
“There are other parts to being human. In Eric Johnson’s book, “Foundations for Soul Care”, he proposes four “orders of meaning” They are all interrelated and touch on one another, but they are hierarchically ordered. That means that some of them are more significant than others. His orders of meaning in order of the greatest to least significance: spiritual, ethical, psychosocial, and biological. Just because, these are distinct orders doesn’t mean they are disconnected from each other. For example, if I repent of sin at the spiritual order, that will have cascading changes throughout the lower orders, possibly even to the point of rewiring neural networks in the brain at the biological level. Going the other way, if my brain suffers injury, that would undoubtedly impact the higher orders that are built upon it; I may become more emotionally volatile which becomes a temptation to sin in my anger.” -Mike Wilkerson
Holistic Worship is the seeing myself in Christ, whole and new. Until we are glorified with Christ, we have to contend with our fallen bodies, depraved hearts, and minds affected by sin. In Christ, we have freedom, joy, calling, adoption, and GRACE in the midst of suffering. Jesus Christ took the punishment for our sin and only by grace did he do this! And I am in awe and fully boast in Christ!
Galations 6:14 May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through whichthe world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.
Life swirls around us and we sometimes muster up the courage to grab some time to stop and rest. Schedules, tasks, duties, relationships, budgets, errands, ministry, friends, birthdays- all capture our attention. Swirling time and memories flash behind us.
If all of these moments were a race, what is at the end? What are we racing towards or for? There are many piles of work and the piles never go away.
We run faster and harder in this race of days to get through it all, yet what is getting my body in action? The sweat drips down and the busyness increases for what?
What is at the finish line? What is all this effort really about? Why do we strain to get through it all? No one seems to notice my straining, since everyone else running beside me is dripping with motivated strides.
Then, I stop and look around to get perspective. I see myself burdened with the a heavy load, perspiring, and about to cry from exhaustion. I see others doing the same. Some are setting down with tears of despair from the increased loads. There are some who are veering off the track to some other destination, a distraction of some sorts. Others, look peaceful as if they were all ready done. Just resting and glad about it. I look ahead and I see no finish line, even though I was promised it was right ahead of where I stopped! A race that never ends? What did I sign up for?
Thus is the race of our Christian faith. Specifically, my roles as wife and mother. What waits for me as my reward? What motivates my heart to work hard? Throughout the day, what drives me? What is my rest and peace? What are my eyes focused on?
Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
God is the reward. He is the motivation. There is a finish line and our home in heaven is waiting for us. Bridging the gap of labor and my heart is worship. My effort is God- the Holy Spirit enabling me to do tasks because He has called me.
God wants me to run this race of life with endurance. He has set before me this body, this life, this heart to look to Jesus. I run hard for nothing if I am not looking to Jesus. Jesus is the why of my worship, the object, the reward.
Colossians 3: 23-24 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
I work my self up to a pretty great rhythm and my breathing seems right for the pace, then all of the sudden I get anxious at the hills ahead of me. My breathing starts getting more labored and my heart starts to get discouraged. I whisper, “ I can’t go any further.”
So, it is with work. Just as I get my house organized and the laundry caught up, I am staring at overwhelming and steep hills of work ahead of me. What keeps me moving forward growing in endurance? It can only be Jesus that moves me.
God is with me now, not just at the finish line. He is with me with every move I make, every thought, every tender feeling. He is the promised land, but I am already there. In Christ, I am both running towards Him and with Him.
As I run this laborious calling- my worship is increasing. My independence is decreasing. And.. I fall in to God’s precious arms, so that He can carry me the rest of the way.
borrowed from lifeaction.org; great site for devotional help. thank you!
Surveys indicate that most Christians spend five minutes or less each day in prayer. A meaningful time with God is vital to a vibrant spiritual life, but many don’t know how to get started. Here is a simple pattern for organizing a daily time with God. Spend five minutes on each of the following:
1. Confession. Sin is the greatest roadblock to prayer; early in your prayer time, confess—agree with God about your sin. (Psalm 139:23-24; 51:10-11; 1 John 1:9)
2. Praise. Dwell on God’s attributes. He is an awesome God! (Psalm 34:1-3; 63:3)
3. Waiting. Quiet your mind and heart before God; focus on Him, being quiet in His presence. (Psalm 37:7; Isaiah 40:31)
4. Scripture. As you open your Bible, ask God to bless you with concentration and understanding as you read His Word. (2 Timothy 3:16; Psalm 19:7-8)
5. Intercession. Develop a list of names of others to uphold in prayer. (1 Timothy 2:1-2; Psalm 2:8).
6. Petition. Make a list of your own personal needs, and check them off as God answers prayer. (Matthew 7:7; James 4:2)
7. Thanksgiving. Thank God for what He has done. We have so much to be grateful for! (Philippians 4:6; Psalm 100:4)
8. Singing. Sing Scripture back to the Lord, or use your favorite hymnal or worship CD. (Psalm 100:2; Ephesians 5:19)
9. Meditation. Actively ponder and digest a passage of Scripture or a character trait of God. (Joshua 1:8; Psalm 1:1-2)
10. Listening. Ask God for specific direction concerning the day’s activities. (1 Kings 19:11-12; Psalm 46:10)
11. Psalms. Read a psalm, and pray back portions to the Lord. (Psalm 95:2; 147:1)
12. Praise. You began your time with praise. What better way to end it? (Psalm 150:1-2; 50:23)
Everywhere I turn, I see my desires for things other than Christ. Sometimes, I see those desires are gifts from him and I hold them carefully and losely. Other times, I see those desires turn to idols. Some to mention: desire for affection, attention, purpose, love, and yes even a desire to control, suprised?
God does want me to see my idols and how I have specifically replaced the worship of God to the worship of things, desires, relationships, etc. He wants me to repent and TRULY TURN from those things and see them as gifts and enjoy them as such. God wants me to enjoy HIM and delight in HIS presence.
YET- it is so tempting to get caught up in seeing idols and smashing them. I would never be done, if this is what I set my heart out to do. Digging for idols isn’t worship. It is self-worship, a form of self-atonement. I think that digging for sin is a way of explaining and understanding myself so that I don’t have to ultimately rest in Christ’s provision on the Cross and the rich grace lavished on me. If I am a proficient idol hunter, then I can make myself into an award winning idol smasher?
As I wrestle and repent, the goal in it is not to navel gaze, hunt for idols, despair over depravity. The “end” or the goal of my walk is Christ and worshipping him, to marvel at His goodness. So, I press on for the upward call in Christ Jesus.
Philipians 3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
I recently heard an amazing sermon on the “Passover”. I sat in my seat, stunned and have continued to ponder this amazing truth. In the Exodus story- when the hebrews placed the blood of the lamb on the doorpost, the spirit would pass over the doorways with blood and not take the life of the first born son. Here it is: God did not look in the home and see if there were idols on the table, before His spirit passed over. He saw the blood (that is it) and passed over. Jesus Christ’s blood on the cross was the atonement for my sins. God passes over me, because of Jesus. Oh, how tempting it is for me to busy myself with idol management. I am a woman under the blood of Christ, I am covered. No amount of idol repenting gets me more. I will continue to work out my salvation with fear and trembling, but the working out part does not get me more of the blood. I am already in Christ. I am already covered with grace. God sees Jesus over me. My father God knows every hair on my head and holds the universe together, I am in awe at his majesty and delight that grace flows freely to me constantly.
David Powlison had a great talk on this (analysing and introspecting) that I listened to last week, perfect timing (God is getting thru to me!) Here is the free download of the teaching:
What I have learned this last couple months is to celebrate more. To repent is worshipful, but to not go looking for sin, idols, to not process life and heart to the extent that it is a self-introspective-self-atonement. My heart is softened before God and I am ready to dance more.
Are you stuck in idol management? I would love to hear…
What is worship? For the last 6 months, I have been sharing my heart regarding my struggle to worship God in and thru my work. Hence the name of this blog. Understanding how to steward God’s gifts and worship Him with my work is my journey.
What are your associations with the word- worship? Do you think (music)? Or all things spiritual? Well, we are all worshippers. Worshippers of Creator or Creation. Do we worship God or the things he made? He is a loving and jealous God who wants me to continue to see my stream of idols that replace him. But, repentance is NOT just seeing idol and throwing it away. God wants me to see it, confess it, worship him instead, then see that thing redeemed. So, the glutton learns how to eat again without sin- but as an act of worship, of freedom. For me, I don’t just confess my independent streak in my heart and despise my competence and strength. Repentance is still being strong and competent but as a dependent on God worshipper.
Worship isn’t just getting rid of idols. It is rightly restoring the created thing in its place. So, that my heart worships God. He alone is to be worshipped.
Pastor Mark preached about worship this past Sunday. As I sat next to my husband for the sermon and singing for the whole service (baby Lydia made it in the nursery the whole time for the first time!), I was so grateful for good biblical insight about worship. Grateful to God for scripture to speak to me. For the Lord to show me how my heart turns so quickly to idols instead of Him in worship.
And it is so worth watching and having a soft heart before the Lord to reveal idols and help you explore what worship is to you. Enjoy!
At the end of the sermon, take special note of the questions that dig at your heart. He asks some great probing questions for seeing your idols.
Repenting of my pride in work is tough. I love productivity. Many days I feel more confident and satisfied if at the end of the day I have much to show for it. I enjoy the results. I am the girl that loves the house make-over shows. I love to work hard on a project or my everyday tasks and take a good look at the “after.”
Making lists isn’t all bad. But, what is my heart about when I make them and finish the tasks? I generally feel proud of myself when I can check many things off my task list. In-fact, I have joked before that if I do additional tasks, I will add them just to have more checked off. Making a list organizes me but it also gives me a vision for the day. This is negative if my vision for the day shrinks to the daily tasks. Is share the gospel on the fly with a stranger at the park, encourage my husband spontaneously with sex, think and learn about my world and how it is hurting, on my list? Things that aren’t in my life starring at me, usually aren’t on my list. Which, reinforces the idea that lists shrink my life and don’t encourage me to think of God’s supreme transcendence.
So, the real question is: What does God want to accomplish through me today? Not, what tasks that are in my shrunk little kingdom of Wilkerson are to be accomplished today? Not, what things am I most excited to do today? Not, what items are pressuring me to anxiety?
It is idolatry for me, if I clench my fist around accomplishments or if I look for meaning from accomplishments. I worship the idol of accomplishment, when I stroke it with a prideful satisfaction when I work hard to do my life.
Worship through work is the repentance God is after in me and the reason for this blog- to process my journey to worship, to encourage others to see Jesus Christ in their work, to see His hand and give Him glory, not self.
I confess my sin of this idolatry, replacing the pride of accomplishment, with the hope for humility and dependence on Christ in my work. Repentance for me is to ask the Lord each day what my tasks should be, and as He enables me to accomplish my satisfaction in it would not be absorbed by me, but pass on to Him. Making Jesus look good, not me.
Do I fall at the feet of Jesus in complete adoration? Do I care too much of the opinion of others that I am distracted in my worship? If my God were in my home, would I see Him and know what humble and passionate worship would be? Or would I be my “default self” distracted and proud?
Mary, the sister of Lazarus and Martha: she sat at Jesus Christ’s feet and listened to his teaching. She chose the good portion, which would not be taken away from her. In Luke 10, I have read so many times this story and have taught on Martha- here is a link to the article, I wrote on Martha and her distraction: http://voxpopnetwork.com/reformingthefeminine/2008/02/09/margaret/
So, what did Mary get so right? Jesus said, ” Mary has chosen the good portion and it will not be taken away from her.”
Mary was open and flexible: Martha and Mary lived in the same home in Bethany. Mary and Martha both had to be hard workers to keep their home. They were hospitable and loved Jesus. When, Jesus entered their home, on the spur of the moment, Mary knew in her heart that listening to his teaching and setting at his feet would be the good choice. She was blessed in this act of worship.
Mary responds with passion:In Luke 10, when Jesus was in her home, she quickly responded with attentive ears and a posture of worship, setting at his feet listening to God. And in John 11, Lazarus died. He was the brother of Martha and Mary, and Jesus loved them all. Lazarus had been sick and Jesus knew that he had died, while he was away. Martha went to find Jesus to tell him and he started walking towards Bethany (Jerusalem was just a couple miles away) and she stayed there until Martha came back to tell her that Jesus was asking for her. Mary jumped up and ran out to Jesus, who was in the same spot he was when talking with Martha on the road somewhere between Jerusalem and Bethany. The Jewish crowd that was with Martha and Mary while they were mourning was so moved by Mary’s jumping up to run out to Jesus, that they went too. When they all got to Jesus, Mary fell at Jesus’ feet. Her tears and their tears moved Jesus. And he wept too. How amazing. Her passion, her love, moved JESUS! He knew he would raise Lazarus, he had a plan because he loved them all. Yet, he still wept with them. This is huge for me as I walk with hurting people. Flying a victory banner over some-one’s pain doesn’t communicate love, weeping with them and reminding them of God’s sovereignty is love. Jesus embraced Mary’s mourning by also mourning. wow.
Mary is generous. In John 12, this is where the same Mary anoints Jesus with very expensive perfume. Her devoted sister faithfully serves a meal to Jesus, the back to life Lazarus, Jesus, and the disciples. Mary poured this perfume on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. Jesus’ response to Judas’ push-back on Mary’s actions, once again shows that Mary instead of selling this perfume to give the money to the poor she chose to be worshipful in choosing to anoint her God before his death. Jesus defended her actions in Luke 10 and here, making sure that those who complained about her actions, knew that she was making the good choice. Matthew and Mark say that she poured it on his head and feet. Wiping his feet with her hair was truly an act of worship with humility and devotion. I can’t imagine doing this. I hope that I would have ignored all of those people around and humbly worshiped my God. I am sad to say my struggle is caring too much what those near would think of me. Mary didn’t seem to care. She worshipped Jesus with a passionate decisiveness that I am longing to see lived out in my heart and life!
My world can shrink so easily to the size of my life, my tasks, my own pain. I feel like if I can consistently see the sovereignty of God and walk in the knowledge of God’s transcendent character, my fear of man will fade away and my passionate pursuit of God’s holiness will replace it. As I study Mary, I am encouraged to see a woman who at least a couple times worshiped Jesus with decisive, passionate, and humble responses.
Psalm 25 comes to mind when I pray for a heart to worship with passion and humility.
Psalm 25: 4 Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. 5Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. 6Remember yourmercy, O LORD, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. 7Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me,for the sake of your goodness, O LORD! 8 Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in the way.9He leads the humble in what is right,and teaches the humble his way. 10All the paths of the LORD aresteadfast love and faithfulness,for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.
God is the Master laborer. I am part of his labor! My heart is full of amazement this week as I meditate on:
Philippians 2:12-14 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now not only as in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Working out our salvation with fear and trembling: this is awe and reverence rather than panic and alarm. My ESV Reformation Study Bible says- the right emotions are stirred by the presence of God. This salvation in the full, redemptive sense with particular stress on the sanctification of the believer. The sanctifying process calls for obedience.
God who works in you:While we are fearing and trembling at God’s presence, God is actively paying attention. He is taking notes on us, thinking, knowing us, arranging things for us, and lovingly guiding the whole universe to work according to his plan for each of us.
CAN YOU BELIEVE- that the same Lord who placed the stars in the sky and imagined and created every living creature, is watching us, loving us, and working things out for us? I am in awe at the hugeness and personal-ness of our God. I love it that God works for his own satisfaction, glory, and pleasure. He is Holy in His pursuit of His own glory.
I explained this to my boys this week that God is thinking about them. I told the boys how I have a journal that I take notes on my kids and how to best shepherd them, what they are going through in their lives, and how to encourage, serve, protect, etc. I am doing a fraction of the detailed work of shepherding the hearts of my kids, compared to the work of God in our hearts. He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and perfect.
For His Good Pleasure: I set here and try to picture God’s pleasure. What does that look like? Is he laughing in delight in heaven? Is his pleasure like sunshine rays coming through clouds? What does it look like for God to will and to work for his good pleasure?
I love that God delights in his work and I am one of his works, that he delights in, knows, loves personally, and works things out for my good, ultimately giving himself glory.
I do not work on my own, it is God willing and working with His magnificent power and attention to details of my heart. As my heart worships God-replacements (idols) less over time, I am at a place where that “fear and trembling” is more frequent and my heart is full of adoration and is completely awestruck!
Ephesians 2:10Forwe are his workmanship,created in Christ Jesusfor good works,which God prepared beforehand,that we should walk in them.
A few posts back, I wrote about God’s grace at work in my work. I have been meditating on that for awhile and the above verse.
I am amazed that as I am stewarding many things and people, God is working on me. He has prepared work for me to do. Every task, every relationship, God has prepared in advance specifically for me to do- unto His glory.
I am God’s workmanship, not just the work that he has for me to do. I am a work for him. Get it? As I grow in Christ, repent, mature, suffer, experience abundant grace in my life, I am a work.
It is interesting, I despise feeling like a “project” and am aware when I have made people “projects” in my life- out of a sinful place of self-righteousness. I don’t want to be anyone’s project! Yet, as a child of the King, I am his project, that is what being made holy is all about.
As I ponder, being God’s workmanship, I am humbled that I am far from being a finished project. God sees me and He sees much sin still.
The awesome news is: that when God sees me He doesn’t see just me, He sees Christ over me. He is my identity and His righteousness is MINE. The pressure is off! GOD doesn’t see just a work in progress- a continual project (me)- God sees Christ a finished work (because of the miraculous work on the cross) for me.
I love that I am a project, now. I pray that as I work on my smaller projects here on earth- I will continue to be humbled by this truth.
Growing up, we always had these deep and dark and sometimes dangerously packed full drawers. Often it was the most handy and the top drawer in the kitchen or office. Anything small and handy, ackward, random and unnecessary would land in this vortex of a space. I use them now as a de-cluttering option for my kitchen and office space. When, random objects appear, it isn’t long before they make their homes in the junk drawer. Every few months, I take a few minutes and empty most of the junk drawer items in to the trash. I always think to myself, “why didn’t this things go to the trash can right away?” Why on earth did we keep that?
I think that my heart is like a junk drawer. There are good things along with the useless in there.
My heart collects packets of information, random thoughts, beliefs about God, relationship receipts, little pointless pieces of data, and many other threads of curious motivations. Working thru the junk drawer of my heart is being willing to be exposed for all the trash among the “keepers.”
Working thru the junk drawer is similar to the processing of my heart. I can completely ignore my junk drawer and avoid it at all costs because it is screaming at me to organize, throw away, make sense out of random items. My heart accumulates junk. In fact, the illusion is when the drawer is closed, it looks like my spaces are clean and organized, when in fact there is old junk, if you just open that drawer.
Repentance is the process of opening of the drawer with a vision for change- a heart softened to the Lord to change. To turn from my sin and claim more of Jesus. I believe in progressive sanctification. It is a process of continuing to lay hold of the righteousness that is ours in Christ.
Hebrews 10:22 Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
I desire to walk ever so closely with Jesus, keeping my focus on him, and in full assurance of my faith, my heart is cleansed. The junk drawer is worked thru and redeemed.
I am exhausted. Weary. Emotionally. Physically. I am fighting for my time with God and straining to keep my eyes on Him thru meditation, prayer, a soft heart to listen to His voice.
Weariness sets in and the temptation with it is to lose heart.
Hebrews 12: 1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Do I see Jesus thru my weariness? God tells me in this verse to consider Jesus who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that I will not grow weary and lose heart.
If I fix my eyes on Jesus, my heart is able. My heart is able to give, love, focus, and worship.
In my distraction- my heart loses focus. My vision is blurry. Fixing my eyes on Jesus makes me see 20/20. And everything lines up.
Jesus is the only hope for the weary, for my weariness.
Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
I feel richly blessed to have a husband who is always brewing something in his head. He will disappear into a warp zone in his head and later I find that he has outlined a whole sermon. Yesterday, we had a coffee date and he preached to me, it was very romantic. I love his heart and how God talks to him. He isn’t one to zealously or enthusasically share his thoughts or teach me or others, when uninvited. Yet, if he is invited, prepare yourself for insight that changes you. God has gifted him with knowledge and the ability to communicate it well. He has taught me and inspired me, yet he is a prudent man. He has taught me over the years by his example to be cautious and obedient to Christ as to when and what to share with others. He worships in humility and prudence with his mind.
Proverbs 12: 23 A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly.
This verse cuts at my heart. While, I am a passionate woman, I continue to be prone to speak my mind, heart, knowledge, insight, etc. Even as I blog, it is a matter of prayer. I go thru a process as I study–to desire Christ be glorified and not me, to be prudent with my knowledge and my heart.
Worship is prudence sometimes, because it takes the humility, dependence on Christ, a desire for God’s glory and not self, to RESTRAIN my lips, or in most cases, to RESTRAIN my fingers typing.
Worship is prudence if it brings my mind in submission to Christ and the joy that brings.
In celebrating Jesus this week, I am in awe specifically of the fear of the Risen Christ. Mary Magdelene and the other Mary were afraid when they saw the tomb empty and still afraid when the angel told them that Jesus was alive. Their fear of God was strong.
Matthew 28:5 The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you. 8So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”
“Afraid yet filled with Joy” I can’t imagine how they must have felt as they ran to tell their dear friends that the Lord was alive!
I have been pondering the fear of the Lord versus my fear of man, for awhile now. I am working thru a second time the book by Ed Welch’s book When People Are Big and God is Small. In this book, I have realized how deep my fear of man is and how shallow my fear of the Lord is. As I read this account of the “Marys, ” see them in a different way, somehow. I see them in wonder, awe, fear, curiousity, joy, and somehow I see them trembling with hope.
As I have confessed before and continue to see sin there, God is changing me! He is bringing me to a place of trust and fear. A peaceful anticipation of God’s presence and the riches that await me in my journey with him. As I experience Christ, I find worship in the mundane and unsignificant. I find Jesus giving me more often a trembling fear and joy at the same time, a new and precious experience.
Do you ever think you are groaning but you are actually grumbling? Sometimes, we mistake one for the other.
