My relationship with work is complicated. I don’t just work and worship. I tend to grab the glory for myself when I accomplish work and I tend to work by will power and self-sufficiency than humble dependence on God.
Just yesterday, I felt proud with all that I got done in the day. Pride sucks out the humility and my arrogance kills worship. Good thing God is patient to redeem my heart in this area!
What about you? Are you competent in your work? At the end of the day, are you pleased with your accomplishments? Does your “plate” seem manageable? Are you satisfied even if you didn’t get your work done? Are you proud if you accomplish or grumble if you don’t?
Arrogance can sneak in with our completed tasks. As the boxes are checked, pride can carry us to the next action item. The ambitious heart seeks the next challenge and self-sufficiency is commonly the energy that drives our achievements. Self-confidence and self-sufficiency is often what motivates, not worship and dependence on God.
2 Corinthians 3:4-5
Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
What does Godly confidence look like, then?
I can stand in confidence in God’s grace that I am a woman that Jesus loves. Jesus gives me all that I need as I depend on Him to complete (or not complete) my work each day. I can worship with confidence and competence, believing that I am not my work. My task list does not define me.
If I believe that the Holy Spirit is what drives me throughout my day, then I can stand confident even when there are incomplete tasks. My competence and confidence are not contingent on my accomplishments. My confidence is in Jesus and the work HE does, not my work. Jesus’ work on the Cross is what identifies me. He has made me competent to be a minister of the Gospel of Grace. Sometimes that means competence in completed tasks, other days competent in incomplete tasks, all the while needing Him to define my days for me.
God defines me, not my work. Grace feels wonderful.
“Do it… by myself!” I have heard those cantankerous words many times from my children, as toddlers. It is somehow adorable and aggravating at the same time, huh? Those words make an attempt at independence from my help. My kids have actually pushed my hands away as I have tried to help them: pull up their pants, tie a shoe, wipe their nose, etc. Some natural independence that comes with maturing I understand, but under the basic desire has a whiff of that familiar rebellion that my heart knows oh so well…. it smells like my own life long attitude to God–“Do it by myself”.
I am zooming in on what I call Godless Independence. It’s Godless because it denounces consciously or unconsciously the presence of God in our lives. Godless because it says to God, “ I got this one, thank you very much.”
One could blame this human independence issue on our culture, thriving on accomplishments and performance. One could decide to blame it on: apathetic communities that turn their backs on poverty–which can produce some independent, bitter people vowing never to burden society again, poor parenting, absent family members, bullies who slap you around, feminist philosophies meant to drain you of the Biblical confidence in God’s design for our roles, and/ or the buffet of worldly ideas that build your “self concept.” Our world loves independence! We praise you for “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps”, proud of your ability to shine while you did it all alone.
Actually, the blame.. the Core of the issue doesn’t lie within these circles outside ourselves. They are noteworthy influences, that is true. However, the real problem lies in our own hearts. You, and me babe. We are born with a resistance to God’s help. That urge to go it alone is a battle within our heart. It is in opposition to God’s loving enabling grace for us.
God lovingly and sovereignly created us in His image. We belong to him and are made for His Glory. Since the Fall, God’s beloved kids have foolishly claimed, “Do it by myself!” To –God! How wretched! From our career building to spouse selection, we know best? What? Especially with the little things: our schedules, our friendships, our tasks; do we believe that God cares and is paying attention to the details of our lives? Do we really believe that we can chart our own course?
I have been an Independence Queen. I shudder looking back on the foolish and prideful beliefs that I have acted on. A few years ago, I had this helpful image in mind when describing this Godless Independence. The picture was of me walking along: focused, driven, and Jesus is holding my hand, enabling each event, relationship, and task. In my independence, I shake his hand away. At first casually I shrug him off. I think. Then, my desires and my own ambition shakes him off a little harder. My sinful desires want to pridefully accomplish life and deny the supernatural enabling grace of the Holy Spirit. Thankfully, that isn’t the whole picture. He doesn’t let me shake him away!
With repentence is the gentle reminder that God never left me, even as I try to shake his hand off. The only difference is my perception of his presence. He is always present, even if my self-sufficient heart believes he isn’t with me. God faithfully purses me personally while I stubbornly resist his help.
It is his grace at work helping me to declare war with this version of Independence. This sin, when carried out to its fullest is the horrific belief that I could actually pay the price for my sin. Godless Independence says, “I will die for myself.”
The Cross of Jesus shows me the miraculous grace that transforms this independent queen into a joyful dependent servant for God’s glory. Jesus has already won every battle that I am fighting or will fight. His righteous blood shed for me has paid the price for my sin. Christ Jesus is my Savior and I celebrate His saving grace and transforming grace that continues to change my heart.
Dependence on God is only as the Holy Spirit works to redeem me. I am asking for help a lot more often from God and others. Feeling tender-hearted and heavy with the weight of various responsibilities characterizes my thoughts. Fear of God and Prayer are Biblical categories that have given me rich truths to cling to. I am still running fast and with passion, but I am finding more joy in worship along the way: seeing my strength, identity, and all love from my Jesus.
My relationship with work is complicated. I don’t just work and worship. I tend to grab the glory for myself when I accomplish work and I tend to work by will power and self-sufficiency than humble dependence on God.