My relationship with work is complicated. I don’t just work and worship. I tend to grab the glory for myself when I accomplish work and I tend to work by will power and self-sufficiency than humble dependence on God.
Just yesterday, I felt proud with all that I got done in the day. Pride sucks out the humility and my arrogance kills worship. Good thing God is patient to redeem my heart in this area!
What about you? Are you competent in your work? At the end of the day, are you pleased with your accomplishments? Does your “plate” seem manageable? Are you satisfied even if you didn’t get your work done? Are you proud if you accomplish or grumble if you don’t?
Arrogance can sneak in with our completed tasks. As the boxes are checked, pride can carry us to the next action item. The ambitious heart seeks the next challenge and self-sufficiency is commonly the energy that drives our achievements. Self-confidence and self-sufficiency is often what motivates, not worship and dependence on God.
2 Corinthians 3:4-5
Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
What does Godly confidence look like, then?
I can stand in confidence in God’s grace that I am a woman that Jesus loves. Jesus gives me all that I need as I depend on Him to complete (or not complete) my work each day. I can worship with confidence and competence, believing that I am not my work. My task list does not define me.
If I believe that the Holy Spirit is what drives me throughout my day, then I can stand confident even when there are incomplete tasks. My competence and confidence are not contingent on my accomplishments. My confidence is in Jesus and the work HE does, not my work. Jesus’ work on the Cross is what identifies me. He has made me competent to be a minister of the Gospel of Grace. Sometimes that means competence in completed tasks, other days competent in incomplete tasks, all the while needing Him to define my days for me.
God defines me, not my work. Grace feels wonderful.
“Do it… by myself!” I have heard those cantankerous words many times from my children, as toddlers. It is somehow adorable and aggravating at the same time, huh? Those words make an attempt at independence from my help. My kids have actually pushed my hands away as I have tried to help them: pull up their pants, tie a shoe, wipe their nose, etc. Some natural independence that comes with maturing I understand, but under the basic desire has a whiff of that familiar rebellion that my heart knows oh so well…. it smells like my own life long attitude to God–“Do it by myself”.
I am zooming in on what I call Godless Independence. It’s Godless because it denounces consciously or unconsciously the presence of God in our lives. Godless because it says to God, “ I got this one, thank you very much.”
One could blame this human independence issue on our culture, thriving on accomplishments and performance. One could decide to blame it on: apathetic communities that turn their backs on poverty–which can produce some independent, bitter people vowing never to burden society again, poor parenting, absent family members, bullies who slap you around, feminist philosophies meant to drain you of the Biblical confidence in God’s design for our roles, and/ or the buffet of worldly ideas that build your “self concept.” Our world loves independence! We praise you for “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps”, proud of your ability to shine while you did it all alone.
Actually, the blame.. the Core of the issue doesn’t lie within these circles outside ourselves. They are noteworthy influences, that is true. However, the real problem lies in our own hearts. You, and me babe. We are born with a resistance to God’s help. That urge to go it alone is a battle within our heart. It is in opposition to God’s loving enabling grace for us.
God lovingly and sovereignly created us in His image. We belong to him and are made for His Glory. Since the Fall, God’s beloved kids have foolishly claimed, “Do it by myself!” To –God! How wretched! From our career building to spouse selection, we know best? What? Especially with the little things: our schedules, our friendships, our tasks; do we believe that God cares and is paying attention to the details of our lives? Do we really believe that we can chart our own course?
I have been an Independence Queen. I shudder looking back on the foolish and prideful beliefs that I have acted on. A few years ago, I had this helpful image in mind when describing this Godless Independence. The picture was of me walking along: focused, driven, and Jesus is holding my hand, enabling each event, relationship, and task. In my independence, I shake his hand away. At first casually I shrug him off. I think. Then, my desires and my own ambition shakes him off a little harder. My sinful desires want to pridefully accomplish life and deny the supernatural enabling grace of the Holy Spirit. Thankfully, that isn’t the whole picture. He doesn’t let me shake him away!
With repentence is the gentle reminder that God never left me, even as I try to shake his hand off. The only difference is my perception of his presence. He is always present, even if my self-sufficient heart believes he isn’t with me. God faithfully purses me personally while I stubbornly resist his help.
It is his grace at work helping me to declare war with this version of Independence. This sin, when carried out to its fullest is the horrific belief that I could actually pay the price for my sin. Godless Independence says, “I will die for myself.”
The Cross of Jesus shows me the miraculous grace that transforms this independent queen into a joyful dependent servant for God’s glory. Jesus has already won every battle that I am fighting or will fight. His righteous blood shed for me has paid the price for my sin. Christ Jesus is my Savior and I celebrate His saving grace and transforming grace that continues to change my heart.
Dependence on God is only as the Holy Spirit works to redeem me. I am asking for help a lot more often from God and others. Feeling tender-hearted and heavy with the weight of various responsibilities characterizes my thoughts. Fear of God and Prayer are Biblical categories that have given me rich truths to cling to. I am still running fast and with passion, but I am finding more joy in worship along the way: seeing my strength, identity, and all love from my Jesus.
Posted on 18 April '10 by trisha, under Independence, worship. No Comments.
Christmas, with all its glitter and joy, is for many a season to get through as quickly as possible… Though I am a wife an a mom with a full house, I am humbled by the fact that many around me are lonely. Loneliness is not a sin. Feeling the desire for companionship and intimacy with someone is a beautiful reflection of being made in the image of God.
I struggle with loneliness occasionally and wonder if what I experience is just a taste of the daily desires that so many people live with. The desire to be with someone can tempt us to “wander in the desert” searching for anything to satisfy. Other comforts, relationships, whet our appetite but are not truly satisfying. Searching for intimacy, we settle for idolatry.
God has been reclaiming His place in my heart, my view of what “Father” looks like. I have been growing in a richer understanding of the presence of God, and feeling a deep joy of seeing Father God as my precious dad. Clinging to my Dad’s leg, like a toddler, my heart is starting to comprehend the intimacy I can have with Abba.
Psalm 121 is great comfort for the lonely heart. As our shadows are always with us, so is our God. In the details and empty spaces of our days, God is present.
1I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2My help comes from the LORD,
who made heaven and earth.
3He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
4Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5The LORD is your keeper;
the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
6The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7The LORD will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
8The LORD will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.
He is our Companion, Keeper, Help, and Comfort. If you are feeling lonely and empty, know that the Lord is with you.
Ever deny your struggle? So that you won’t look bad or feel needy? I have been the religious person and am by God’s grace, have had eyes to see and a heart to repent of this sin. The Sin is Religious Idolatry. Or as David Powlison calls it- Religiosity.
“the driving forces in religion are self-exaltation, love of status, reputation, visibility, pursuing religious behavior for gain, essentially becomes a puppet of self-righteousness. Ultimately using God as a superstition because of fear and control, getting the goodies and avoiding the bad things.” -David Powlison
Trapped by appearances and morality; the religious idolater adds to the Gospel of Christ. Religious people are compelled to do things of God, but may not actually know Jesus. There may be the motions and will that sets up a life to look great; but is disconnected from God in the heart.
Addictive Religiosity is the hardest addiction to break, because it is the hardest one to see:
- Seemingly from God
- Authority of Scripture
- Influencial people
- authority of personal experience
As I was growing up in Christ, I was surrounded by Jesus–loving people, but many (not all) who didn’t humble themselves and expose their struggles/sin and their sanctification journey. Part of it was doctrine, but more often it was the church culture that turned off the need for this raw transparency. I learned how to turn off the honesty and replace it with religiosity.
I am not blaming the christian sub-culture. But, what a dis-service to set people up with gospel knowledge/information but not a humble transformation that is seen by others at a heart level? Religious idolatry is all about protecting yourself from being seen for the– truly dependent and sinful person we all are. It is about steeling glory with morality instead of walking in the light with struggles.
Repentance for the Religious Idolater, including myself, doesn’t mean talking about sin all the time and being dark, and swinging to the opposite of the the fake joy spectrum. Repentance for me has been: letting go of my reputation, depending on the Holy Spirit, mourning for my own pain and others, being humbled by suffering, seeing the Gospel of Jesus in the mundane tasks of my life, not giving packaged answers or advice to people, seeing my sin of prideful performance with God, continual repentance, etc. That is just a few of the changes that the Lord has done.
Religious talk was usually about me performing Christianity. As God continues to save me from this, HE is way bigger and I am shrinking. And, the Gospel of Jesus is so beyond my comprehension.
Religious idolatry clings to things of God and not God himself. Blessings are the product, instead of the Gospel. God himself is the prize of my belief in Him. Treasuring Jesus is my only true hope.
Everywhere I turn, I see my desires for things other than Christ. Sometimes, I see those desires are gifts from him and I hold them carefully and losely. Other times, I see those desires turn to idols. Some to mention: desire for affection, attention, purpose, love, and yes even a desire to control, suprised?
God does want me to see my idols and how I have specifically replaced the worship of God to the worship of things, desires, relationships, etc. He wants me to repent and TRULY TURN from those things and see them as gifts and enjoy them as such. God wants me to enjoy HIM and delight in HIS presence.
YET- it is so tempting to get caught up in seeing idols and smashing them. I would never be done, if this is what I set my heart out to do. Digging for idols isn’t worship. It is self-worship, a form of self-atonement. I think that digging for sin is a way of explaining and understanding myself so that I don’t have to ultimately rest in Christ’s provision on the Cross and the rich grace lavished on me. If I am a proficient idol hunter, then I can make myself into an award winning idol smasher?
As I wrestle and repent, the goal in it is not to navel gaze, hunt for idols, despair over depravity. The “end” or the goal of my walk is Christ and worshipping him, to marvel at His goodness. So, I press on for the upward call in Christ Jesus.
Philipians 3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
I recently heard an amazing sermon on the “Passover”. I sat in my seat, stunned and have continued to ponder this amazing truth. In the Exodus story- when the hebrews placed the blood of the lamb on the doorpost, the spirit would pass over the doorways with blood and not take the life of the first born son. Here it is: God did not look in the home and see if there were idols on the table, before His spirit passed over. He saw the blood (that is it) and passed over. Jesus Christ’s blood on the cross was the atonement for my sins. God passes over me, because of Jesus. Oh, how tempting it is for me to busy myself with idol management. I am a woman under the blood of Christ, I am covered. No amount of idol repenting gets me more. I will continue to work out my salvation with fear and trembling, but the working out part does not get me more of the blood. I am already in Christ. I am already covered with grace. God sees Jesus over me. My father God knows every hair on my head and holds the universe together, I am in awe at his majesty and delight that grace flows freely to me constantly.
David Powlison had a great talk on this (analysing and introspecting) that I listened to last week, perfect timing (God is getting thru to me!) Here is the free download of the teaching:
http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=A2250-03-51
What I have learned this last couple months is to celebrate more. To repent is worshipful, but to not go looking for sin, idols, to not process life and heart to the extent that it is a self-introspective-self-atonement. My heart is softened before God and I am ready to dance more.
Are you stuck in idol management? I would love to hear…
Repenting of my pride in work is tough. I love productivity. Many days I feel more confident and satisfied if at the end of the day I have much to show for it. I enjoy the results. I am the girl that loves the house make-over shows. I love to work hard on a project or my everyday tasks and take a good look at the “after.”
Making lists isn’t all bad. But, what is my heart about when I make them and finish the tasks? I generally feel proud of myself when I can check many things off my task list. In-fact, I have joked before that if I do additional tasks, I will add them just to have more checked off. Making a list organizes me but it also gives me a vision for the day. This is negative if my vision for the day shrinks to the daily tasks. Is share the gospel on the fly with a stranger at the park, encourage my husband spontaneously with sex, think and learn about my world and how it is hurting, on my list? Things that aren’t in my life starring at me, usually aren’t on my list. Which, reinforces the idea that lists shrink my life and don’t encourage me to think of God’s supreme transcendence.
So, the real question is: What does God want to accomplish through me today? Not, what tasks that are in my shrunk little kingdom of Wilkerson are to be accomplished today? Not, what things am I most excited to do today? Not, what items are pressuring me to anxiety?
It is idolatry for me, if I clench my fist around accomplishments or if I look for meaning from accomplishments. I worship the idol of accomplishment, when I stroke it with a prideful satisfaction when I work hard to do my life.
Worship through work is the repentance God is after in me and the reason for this blog- to process my journey to worship, to encourage others to see Jesus Christ in their work, to see His hand and give Him glory, not self.
I confess my sin of this idolatry, replacing the pride of accomplishment, with the hope for humility and dependence on Christ in my work. Repentance for me is to ask the Lord each day what my tasks should be, and as He enables me to accomplish my satisfaction in it would not be absorbed by me, but pass on to Him. Making Jesus look good, not me.
I don’t save money. As soon as I get a few bucks, I know exactly where, what, and when I will get it the item at the top of the list…
I realized today- ministry is like this for me. I love staying busy. I love projects. I love helping, serving, and teaching. You know, the “important” things. Dang. My depravity leaks out again.
Thank God for a good friend, who said, “Do you think ministry won’t be there, when your kids are older?” I struggle not doing more in ministry now, because I love serving with my husband and being on the “front lines,” so to speak.
I am passionate about my children, my home, my husband, yet I get bored. Where is the next “big thing?” The next project, the next curriculum to write? Seriously, when I get bored, I write curriculum. It is hard to see that one as sin, because I am immersed in the Word. But, I am starting to see more about how discontent I can grow as my selfish ambition sides with my passion.
Is it enough for me that my savior delights in me? Psalm 41 11By this I know that you delight in me: my enemy will not shout in triumph over me.12But you have upheld me because of my integrity, and set me in your presence forever.
Work or Worship?
Selfish Ambition or peaceful contentment?
When I raise up out of my bed, the first thing I think is guilt. Guilt for not getting up sooner. yikes. Am I already feeling like a failure? I clomp downstairs in the dark, all the children still snoozing. Pilates or Treadmill, hmm.. Pilates today. I push myself hard and for what purpose? This particular goal is to lose my baby weight. IS this reasonable? Am I ambitious to accomplish goals? Or am I ambitious to worship?
Are you goal-driven or Worship-driven?
Most days, I count a day a success if I accomplish my goals, complete the list, and call it good.
Was Jesus even part of it?
C.J. Mahaney in his book, Humililty, True Greatness says to cultivate humility is to ask God for help at the beginning of the day. This is an “of Course,” to many. Not to me. I usually get a lot done (by God 100% enabling me), yet fail to ask him for help or tenderly acknowledge His provision for me. When the job is done, when the day is done, I worship. I thank God for His love, His guidance, and Grace He has given me. Yet, God held my hand the whole time, start to finish. All that I did, we did together. My sin- is shaking his hand off. My stubborn self-suffiency.
I ambitiously work all day. I enjoy work. I love serving my kids. I delight in a clean house. How often as my mind is busy at work, my hands clean, care for my children, do I worship?
Why do I work? I work to my own glory, most days.
Posted on 8 January '08 by trisha, under Idolatry, worship. No Comments.
My relationship with work is complicated. I don’t just work and worship. I tend to grab the glory for myself when I accomplish work and I tend to work by will power and self-sufficiency than humble dependence on God.