Category Archives: Fear of the Lord

Fear of God in my work

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What motivates the heart?

Some people assume that since we are a people who are totally depraved, the issues of the heart will only reveal sin, so what is the point of delving into the motivations of the heart? The point is not to explain or prove sin. I know I am a sinner. Yet, in understanding my heart and my sin, the Gospel is real. I see my continual need (desperate need) for a redeemer, to wash my heart, clean. Only Christ can make that happen.

While, I am “in Christ,” as a Christian, my life is a battle to claim His righteousness and to walk in repentance for sin. To celebrate what Jesus has done on the cross for me and you.

Take my work: Two distinct motivations could alter my behavior dramatically. Fear of man and fear of God. Both can produce the same behavior yet my heart is not changed.

If I have a heart motivator of fear of man in my work, this is what my heart looks like:

  • driven to please others
  • concerned with outward appearances more than love and inward affections
  • performance to impress: my kids, my husband, my friends, family, etc.
  • controlling environment attain a false satisfaction
  • controlling people to attain a false contentment
  • using things and people to make my self feel good about myself
  • caring too much about the opinion of others or myself
  • unrealistic standards for home, productivity, relationships that is law driven not Grace driven, legalism!
  • producing results for praise from man
  • doing tasks for accomplishment and duty

These heart motivators produce:

  1. Unrighteous anger for any block from standards or productivity to happen.
  2. Disappointment when praise from man doesn’t happen
  3. Bad feelings about self- when tasks don’t happen
  4. inflexibility, irritability
  5. shame if identity rests on performance

In contrast, thru repentance fear of God in my work looks like:

  • desiring first to please God in work
  • aware of God in the details
  • depending on God in the details
  • gentleness and self control
  • quiet whispers of prayers when confrontation of interuptions happen
  • tender-hearted conversations that come at the suprise moments
  • giving God the credit in my heart for a completed task or simply Him enabling me to do anything
  • showing people near me my need for Christ to do anything
  • confessing sin quickly

These heart motivations produce:

  1. Meekness
  2. Humility
  3. Self-control
  4. Kindness
  5. Love
  6. Worship

Just to name a few!

Again, my battle, my war with work is to WORSHIP my God in my work. To see Jesus in my laundry, my children’s eyes, to love Jesus with my hands and most importantly, my heart!

Worship is a war. Who is fighting?

Fear of the Risen Lord!

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In celebrating Jesus this week, I am in awe specifically of the fear of the Risen Christ. Mary Magdelene and the other Mary were afraid when they saw the tomb empty and still afraid when the angel told them that Jesus was alive. Their fear of God was strong.

Matthew 28:5 The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you. 8So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

“Afraid yet filled with Joy” I can’t imagine how they must have felt as they ran to tell their dear friends that the Lord was alive!

I have been pondering the fear of the Lord versus my fear of man, for awhile now. I am working thru a second time the book by Ed Welch’s book When People Are Big and God is Small. In this book, I have realized how deep my fear of man is and how shallow my fear of the Lord is. As I read this account of the “Marys, ” see them in a different way, somehow. I see them in wonder, awe, fear, curiousity, joy, and somehow I see them trembling with hope.

As I have confessed before and continue to see sin there, God is changing me! He is bringing me to a place of trust and fear. A peaceful anticipation of God’s presence and the riches that await me in my journey with him. As I experience Christ, I find worship in the mundane and unsignificant. I find Jesus giving me more often a trembling fear and joy at the same time, a new and precious experience.

“play with kids” is on my list

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My sin of giving my attention to tasks more than giving my attention to the eyes and hearts of those in my home hangs out in my heart daily.

God is at work. This is one reason why I am blogging this topic to show the journey of my repentance, to process, to practice writing more, to share with strangers, to not be motivated for feedback, to ultimately give God the glory for any of my heart change.

I am a list maker. My outlook calendar usually just has appointments/meetings/outings on it. My daily list has a schedule for the day. Starting at 6 am and ending at 10- on my list are all the things I want to accomplish. The first things I usually put down are the house chores. Second, my exercise and reading goals for the day. Thirdly, I glance at the schedule and see if there is room for leisure, like a nap, or more reading…

ON SOME DAYS, I remember to put down on the list things like: play little people 30 minutes, shoot hoops with Henry, set up fort downstairs for boys, etc. I have been so busy in the last few weeks, I have neglected playing with my children. I can so easily go into caretaker mommie, that I only take care of them and don’t also enjoy them, thru play, and relationship. This is HUGE for me.

Remember, Martha’s sin, my sin? My default tendencies are just like Martha’s in Luke 10, to be distracted with much, busy, yet not choosing the “good portion” at the right time. I have countless opportunities throughout my day, to stop and choose the hearts of my kids. I don’t want to just “manage” my children and house. These moments when we giggle together, play a board game together, when I play dolls with my daughter and use pretend voices, run races in the yard together, have impromptu puppet shows, those are the moments that the kids treasure, and yet those are not my first desires. Surviving the day, as I have blogged is maintaining work so constantly so to not accrue house debt.

Honestly, God has to be yelling at me to sometimes HEAR HIS VOICE to stop working and play. So, tomorrow- on my daily list will be play with each child their choice of toy/game. I don’t believe that God wants me to legalistically place play on my list each day, yet the sin I am convicted of right now suggests that am aware of God’s grace to give me the gift of time with my children. God is renewing my desire and my satisfaction in worshipping Jesus in work and THIS is YET ANOTHER act of seeing God.

thank you, Jesus!

Choosing the “Good Portion”

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In continuing our look at Work and Worship, I am peering into the story of Martha, Mary, and Jesus in Luke 10. I have been meditating on worship and how my actions rarely reflect an attitude of worship. Often, my attitude as I work is an attitude of self-worship not worship of Jesus- just like my sister- Miss Martha.

I am zeroing in on: Luke 10:42 “but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

So, what is the good portion?
Many time in scripture, you find “portion” being associated with heritage, right, inheritance, or simply portion of land. Here are some examples where “portion” is used:

Psalm 119:57 The Lord is my portion; I promise to keep your words.
Psalm 142:5 I cry to you, O LORD; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.”
Numbers 18:20 and the LORD said to Aaron, “You shall have no inheritance in their land, neither shall you have any portion among them. I am your portion and your inheritance among the people of Israel.

Jesus is the “portion” of Jacob, he is our “portion.” Yet, we so easily miss him. The whole Bible is unified and points us to Jesus. My whole life is meant to be about giving God glory, enjoying Him, being satisfied in Him- true worship. Yet, my distractions are set up as idols replacing Jesus. My attention, my worship is distracted.

In John Calvin’s commentary on this- he said-“Martha, by distracting her attention, and undertaking more labor than was necessary, deprived herself of the advantage of Christ’s visit.”

Martha chose to deprive herself by fluttering around distracted with much toil, and Mary chose the good portion. The portion was Christ himself.

Reminder of Grace: As God reveals His truth to me, I am comforted by Christ’s provisional grace to move in my heart, as HE SEEKS worshippers. My heart is being transformed, by grace. God is my portion, my desire, my REWARD!