Work and Worship

worship as Contentment

Am I a content woman of God? Do I trust God to order my steps, my day, my plan?

God has really convicted me lately of so many idols in my heart. Specifically, I desire too much to know the “plan” for the season, for the day, for the hour… Hence, my difficulty to roll with the flow or my lacking flexibility. Deeper than that, it is discontentment, not trusting God, anxiety, and me trying to control. ugg.. My discontentment is masked very well (not in a sneaky way)by joy. My passion covers up my unmet desires at times.

Philipians 4:11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

My heart as John Calvin once said is an “idol factory” and in the midst of the the gratitude and worship unto Christ is my idolatrous heart. My heart wanders around looking for more. The “more” always serves me, not my family, friends, or my God. The more, is discontentment.

Paul Tripp says it this way: “You see, you and I are worshippers. This is one of the things the separates us from the rest of creation. As worshippers we’re always living for something. Something is always laying claim to the affection and rulership of our hearts. There’s always something that commands our dreams. There’s something that we look to to give us identity, meaning and purpose, and that inner sense of well-being that everyone seeks. Now, Scripture says that there are only two choices (Romans 1:25). You’re living in pursuit of the creation or the Creator. You’re looking for your satisfaction and meaning in the physical created world, or you’re finding it in the Lord.

What this means is that there’s a war of dreams that rages in our hearts, and in the middle of the fog of this war it’s so easy to get it wrong. It’s so easy to think that because I have my theology in the right place, because I am biblically literate, and a functioning member of a good church, that my life is shaped by worship of the Lord. But, that may not be the case at all. On closer inspection, it may actually be the case that underneath all of those things is a life that’s driven by personal success, or material things, or the respect of others, or power and control, etc. I am deeply persuaded that there’s a whole lot of idolatrous Christianity out there. The most dangerous idols of all are those that fit well within the culture of external Christianity.

Am I living in pursuit of God’s glory and do my choices reflect that? As God crushes idols in my heart, I am starting to understand more of the Gospel. My idols have clogged the pipes and crowded my heart. As the war in my heart continues, I am fighting with clearer vision!

Worship is contentment, but I have to fight for it, and reflect and acknowledge in prayer and praise to God for how GOOD He is and how Victorious Christ is! Repentence of discontentment will be more rest, trusting, in the midst of not knowing answers. I will stand in Philippians 4!

vacation from work ?

Vacation: (definition) leisure time away from work; devoted to rest or pleasure

For the last few weeks, my computer was down and we took a 2 week “staycation” where we enjoyed vacation time at home in our city with our visiting family members…

Staycation was awesome! Less expense, kids get their own beds, we could get out of the house for a whole day for fun activities, then stay home the next day to recoup, quality conversations, normal routines, but with less stress, no airports, or roadmaps.

God helped me not to obsess over laundry and floors and picking up toys. My family helped a lot and at the end of the two weeks, I had at least 8 loads of folded, yes clean laundry in my bedroom, ready to be put up. There were many times I could have put up laundry or mopped my floors, or windexed the fingerprints on mirrors and doors that seemed to yell at me when I would walk by, I could have swept everyday, but didn’t. The house was fine. The kids were fine. It was great. God helped me repent, rest and relax. I enjoyed my family, my home more, and feel refreshed!

As most mothers know, you really don’t get vacation, even if you are away from home. Vacation to me is someone else makes the meal and cleans it up, someone else cleans the house, someone else does the laundry, etc. And even if all of that is done, my sweet children still need bathed, wiped, dressed, combed, brushed, sanitized, held, loved, talked with, played with, kissed, hugged, and all of that from 7am until 8pm. A mother’s job is constant and it is never vacation.

I wouldn’t want that kind of vacation. So, what I am blessed with are small moments of vacation and alone time. 1 hour of reading outside. 20 minutes in the shower. Errands without the kids. Dinner out. Date night with Mike always feels like vacation!

Our staycation did include much work. Yet, my heart is refreshed. Mike was home, comforting me with his presence. Our parents were here and we enjoyed them and made a lot of memories. Vacation for me is becoming an annual time in July where we break from normalcy, still doing work, but with a different approach, to have fun, to engage our kids more, to take a ton of pictures, to plan summer outings, to take family naps, try out new recipes, play in the yard, no make-up, and no email… My heart is refreshed!

Why do people crave vacation? I struggle to not feel entitled to have a break or a vacation. If I am exhausted, the last person I tend to tell is God..

Do I view breaks or vacations or those small moments to refresh myself as gifts? Often, I think I am owed the time.

Why do I need an occasional break from my house, my kids, my husband? For me, it is an opportunity for my heart to be refreshed. I feel this way after church and listening to a sermon, a good chunk of time in the Bible, a date night with Mike, or family reading time. I feel the vacation feeling when I have talked with a friend or sipped coffee looking at the lake. The moments are there, I don’t have ride an airplane to be energized. The destination for vacation is Jesus Christ in my heart, I can go there and worship him and enjoy the pleasures of Christ anytime!

Thankfully, God faithfully refuels my heart when I go to him with an empty tank!