Working through the Junk Drawer
I have three junk drawers in my home.
Growing up, we always had these deep and dark and sometimes dangerously packed full drawers. Often it was the most handy and the top drawer in the kitchen or office. Anything small and handy, ackward, random and unnecessary would land in this vortex of a space. I use them now as a de-cluttering option for my kitchen and office space. When, random objects appear, it isn’t long before they make their homes in the junk drawer. Every few months, I take a few minutes and empty most of the junk drawer items in to the trash. I always think to myself, “why didn’t this things go to the trash can right away?” Why on earth did we keep that?
I think that my heart is like a junk drawer. There are good things along with the useless in there.
My heart collects packets of information, random thoughts, beliefs about God, relationship receipts, little pointless pieces of data, and many other threads of curious motivations. Working thru the junk drawer of my heart is being willing to be exposed for all the trash among the “keepers.”
Working thru the junk drawer is similar to the processing of my heart. I can completely ignore my junk drawer and avoid it at all costs because it is screaming at me to organize, throw away, make sense out of random items. My heart accumulates junk. In fact, the illusion is when the drawer is closed, it looks like my spaces are clean and organized, when in fact there is old junk, if you just open that drawer.
Repentance is the process of opening of the drawer with a vision for change- a heart softened to the Lord to change. To turn from my sin and claim more of Jesus. I believe in progressive sanctification. It is a process of continuing to lay hold of the righteousness that is ours in Christ.
Hebrews 10:22 Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
I desire to walk ever so closely with Jesus, keeping my focus on him, and in full assurance of my faith, my heart is cleansed. The junk drawer is worked thru and redeemed.
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (1)Weary with Work
I am exhausted. Weary. Emotionally. Physically. I am fighting for my time with God and straining to keep my eyes on Him thru meditation, prayer, a soft heart to listen to His voice.
Weariness sets in and the temptation with it is to lose heart.
Hebrews 12: 1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Do I see Jesus thru my weariness? God tells me in this verse to consider Jesus who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that I will not grow weary and lose heart.
If I fix my eyes on Jesus, my heart is able. My heart is able to give, love, focus, and worship.
In my distraction- my heart loses focus. My vision is blurry. Fixing my eyes on Jesus makes me see 20/20. And everything lines up.
Jesus is the only hope for the weary, for my weariness.
Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
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Embracing Interruptions as Worship
Interruptions are like striking a match to my gas leak of a heart.
In my sin:
- I am not flexible
- I don’t answer with a gentle heart
- I repay evil with evil
- I don’t bless those who persecute me, even if it is my kids :-)
- I do resent interruptions
- I feel angry when I don’t get to do what I am trying to do
If I am working, that is what I want to do. I want to focus wholeheartedly. I can worship more easily, (i think) if I am immersed in whatever it is. My mind can focus, my heart engages, enjoys it, I have fun.
When I am cooking, the last thing I want to do is stop 20 times to put a toy back together, respond to the yell from the bathroom, “ready to be wiped, mom!”, put my daughters hair in a pony tail, spoon feed my baby while she watches me cook, find a star wars character stuck behind the couch, talk with my oldest about selfishness with the claim that “he had it first,” praise my younger son that he is being patient with me while I cook, because he had just been complaining that he would die of a hungry tummy, answer the phone, hold my toddler daughter while I stir, sounds like more than one thing happening, huh? Find me in the kitchen at 5 and if I haven’t prepared dinner during naptime, this is the predicament, I am in. The Match is lit and at any moment my sinful heart could respond.
Walking in a changed heart, a repentant heart looks miraculously different. It is a miracle when any sinner turns from sin.
So, it is a miracle from God a beautiful evidence of God in my heart to remind me to be flexible, joyful, obedient to the whisper of God in those interruptions. To respond peacefully to my children.
My interruptions are blessings not burdens. A true opportunity for my sanctification. Worship? Yes, a heart yielded to Christ in interruptions.
Filed under Uncategorized | Comments (2)Fear of God in my work
What motivates the heart?
Some people assume that since we are a people who are totally depraved, the issues of the heart will only reveal sin, so what is the point of delving into the motivations of the heart? The point is not to explain or prove sin. I know I am a sinner. Yet, in understanding my heart and my sin, the Gospel is real. I see my continual need (desperate need) for a redeemer, to wash my heart, clean. Only Christ can make that happen.
While, I am “in Christ,” as a Christian, my life is a battle to claim His righteousness and to walk in repentance for sin. To celebrate what Jesus has done on the cross for me and you.
Take my work: Two distinct motivations could alter my behavior dramatically. Fear of man and fear of God. Both can produce the same behavior yet my heart is not changed.
If I have a heart motivator of fear of man in my work, this is what my heart looks like:
- driven to please others
- concerned with outward appearances more than love and inward affections
- performance to impress: my kids, my husband, my friends, family, etc.
- controlling environment attain a false satisfaction
- controlling people to attain a false contentment
- using things and people to make my self feel good about myself
- caring too much about the opinion of others or myself
- unrealistic standards for home, productivity, relationships that is law driven not Grace driven, legalism!
- producing results for praise from man
- doing tasks for accomplishment and duty
These heart motivators produce:
- Unrighteous anger for any block from standards or productivity to happen.
- Disappointment when praise from man doesn’t happen
- Bad feelings about self- when tasks don’t happen
- inflexibility, irritability
- shame if identity rests on performance
In contrast, thru repentance fear of God in my work looks like:
- desiring first to please God in work
- aware of God in the details
- depending on God in the details
- gentleness and self control
- quiet whispers of prayers when confrontation of interuptions happen
- tender-hearted conversations that come at the suprise moments
- giving God the credit in my heart for a completed task or simply Him enabling me to do anything
- showing people near me my need for Christ to do anything
- confessing sin quickly
These heart motivations produce:
- Meekness
- Humility
- Self-control
- Kindness
- Love
- Worship
Just to name a few!
Again, my battle, my war with work is to WORSHIP my God in my work. To see Jesus in my laundry, my children’s eyes, to love Jesus with my hands and most importantly, my heart!
Worship is a war. Who is fighting?
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